Here’s my new goal… no more setting myself up for sadness and frustration and disappointment.
When we first started TTC, I was thinking we’d have an April baby. April/May are generally slower times for me at work, so I figured that’d be perfect, plus I wouldn’t be hugely pregnant in the hot summer months. Perfect plan. Yeah right.
When it didn’t happen right away, I knew I had to get pregnant by November so that at least our child would be in the same grade as our best friend’s kid and my husband’s brother’s child (born this past Dec & March). It’s way more fun when kids are in the same grade and are going through the same thing and … yeah… why did I do that to myself?
When we didn’t get pregnant by Christmas & decided to go to the doc, I figured we’d be pregnant by March. That would ensure we had a 2010 baby. Perfect for a tax credit. Perfect for our family. There are tons of December babies in my husband’s family (including my husband), so that’d be pretty cool, right?!
Hm. Here we sit at June. If (and that’s a big “if”) this is ‘our cycle,’ we’d have a March 2011 baby. However, I am done with deadlines. I refuse to do this to myself anymore. Whenever we get pregnant (and I really truly just need to believe that we will), it will happen when it’s supposed to. I will be 9 months pregnant in the heat of August if it means I’ll have a healthy, happy baby to add to our family. Johanna (the road to) mommyland is another blogger I follow, and they were in the hell known as TTC for 11 months. She’s actually due with her first baby in two weeks – I am SO excited for her. Check out her post about how you can’t always plan these things…
In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy my time with my husband, with my friends, with my dogs. I’m going to enjoy walking out the door and getting in my car and going somewhere without grabbing anything but my purse. I’m going to enjoy rafting after work and drinking beer, just because I want to.
I’m still going to do everything in my power to get that BFP so that I can hold my child in my arms someday, but I figure I just really need to remember to enjoy life in the meantime and not be so dang worried about deadlines…
Yep. I could have written this exact post.
My thoughts exactly! I have given myself the "summer off" from worrying too much about getting a BFP. If I get a BFN I'm going to enjoy the fact that I can hang out on the boat and drink with the girls. That when our friends kids cry I can walk away and not have to calm them down. I hope you get your BFP soon though!
I am glad you have found this place in your life. I was the same way when I started "trying" (ugh! I hate that term) and it took me a good 8 months to get to this point where I was okay with everything not going as planned.
I know right where you are. I had to make this realization these last few months as well. I'm still in the process of an attitude change in that God will make it happen in the right time. However, there are so many babies around me, and so many conveniences that would be nice if I could have it all planned out. But, I can't control everything – apparently even my body! Even this morning I was thinking, I want to go ahead and get on Clomid now instead of waiting until my insurance changes in September and after our big trip to Hawaii…but I'm being irrational! 🙂 I will gladly take a baby when it's time. I just need to learn to wait.
I like your style. And maybe you'll be able to drink with us in September! If you won't, we'll be just as happy. Either way, SEPTEMBER.
I wish we all could get knocked up the good old fashioned way, accidentally, out of wedlock. LOLj/k on the out of wedlock part. Too late for that…
I have never thought about birth months as much as I have when I DON'T want to be huge, i.e. the summer months. But I definitely agree that the added stress of deadlines isn't good for anyone so we'll just let things take its course and see what happens.
I was reading your post, thinking, yep, I can totally relate. I thought about not trying in March actually, because I thought I didn't want my child to have a December birthday, so as not to get lost in the Christmas shuffle. But by the end of our journey, I didn't care when baby would be born, just that there would be a baby. Anyway, then I got to the shout-out! Thanks so much! And good for you, for giving up on deadlines. I really, really hope your wait is almost over.
Yes, no deadlines! They only make you crazy! Keeping my fingers crossed that this is your cycle!
Thanks everyone! It feels really good lately to just be HAPPY again. @Bradshaw – ideally I'd be 3 months preggo at the #BBS, but if that doesn't happen, I'd be STOKED to have drinks with you all!@Johanna – thanks for commenting! I love reading your blog, and I feel like once I get my BFP, your journey in life just seems to similar to mine at points that I'll probably be rereading everything as I'm at that point!! 🙂 On that thought…we're 11 months in, so if I really AM like you, I should get that BFP this month! lol. we'll see. @The other 7 of you – Glad to hear I'm not the only one who has put this pressure on myself!! Praying that we ALL get our BFPs, and soon! PS – sorry for all of the exclamation points. It's just a beautiful day and life is good and I'm so grateful to have this community of support that it makes me happy!! 🙂
I know this was not an easy post to write. I remember when we were at the beginning of baby-making-quest thinking that I'd really want a, "August" baby… then after two years – I just wanted a baby in ANY month. I hear you.I pray, blogger friend, that your sweet little one shows up RIGHT when she/he is supposed to.Keep your chin up.
You're cycles are getting more and more regulated each cycle. Your body may very well be preparing. God is waiting for your mind and body to be in sync and then blamo! We'll have a designated driver.
I hear ya lady. I too believe it will happen when it is supposed to. Until then you have to learn to smell the roses and to drink all the beer your belly can hold.
Love this post. Ditto Junket.xoxo
We were in the TTC boat, got pregnant, miscarried, and wound up back in the same TTC boat for another eight months before I got pregnant with my daughter. She's 11 months now and whenever I read posts like this, my heart aches and twinges and shudders with remembering. I'm sending you the warmest wishes for a plus sign sometime soon!Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com
We were in the TTC boat, got pregnant, miscarried, and wound up back in the same TTC boat for another eight months before I got pregnant with my daughter. She's 11 months now and whenever I read posts like this, my heart aches and twinges and shudders with remembering. I'm sending you the warmest wishes for a plus sign sometime soon!Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com
I have found that focusing on living life to the best and fullest while TTC definitely helps. I don't know if it will help us conceive but it for sure helps our marriage and my sanilty 🙂
I have found that focusing on living life to the best and fullest while TTC definitely helps. I don't know if it will help us conceive but it for sure helps our marriage and my sanilty 🙂
I had deadlines for getting pregnant too…the big one was that I wanted be be a mom by 30. Well that hasen't happened and I am tired of setting "goals" for myself that I have no control over!!
Girl, I am such a control freak. I totally planned our pregnancy based on the fact that I wanted a summer baby. Then I planned his delivery date based on the fact that I wanted him to be able to go to kindergarten when he's five, if he's ready. And you know what? Looking back, how silly was I. If we have another baby, I'm over all that. Whenever, whatever. When you have your baby, you won't care a whit what time of year, etc.BTW. I was pregnant in the heat of summer. Meh. Totally doable. That's why God made AC.