I was just getting ready to write this post and read Kelly’s post (Little Looman Log) about the same thing happening to her this week! I love it when happy surprises happen in our TTC world. 🙂
He just laughed and said, Ok, you might have to wake me up since it will be after 9.
Fine, okay, I understand, he’s not a night owl, no problem.
Well, (after the most amazing softball game I’ve ever played!) I crawl into bed at 9:45 and start to wake him up and he basically tells me to leave him alone, he’s sleeping, we can do it tomorrow.
HAHAHAHA. Cue crazy TTC lady losing her mind that the one day in the past year she’s seen a positive OPK test he hubby is too tired and holy f*ing sh*t we might miss our window and that is not okay.
I might have not reacted well.
Honestly, we’ve had our ups and downs with the whole TTC thing, and for the most part it’s been…okay. I try to never mention the fact that doc said we need to BD every other day around O time…which admittedly is a lot harder when you have no idea if you’ll O on CD14 or CD50. That’s a long freaking time to BD…and lots of nights are great, but there are also lots of nights where we are both honestly too tired, but I feel more pressure to do it “right” so I’m usually the initiator. That’s hard. Add to that the fact that he never asks me about the TTC stuff, and I’ve just felt really alone in this journey lately. Honestly, on Tuesday I asked him if he even wanted to have a baby. He said of course I do!! It’s hard for me to explain to him that I need that verbal reassurance from him. Often. He feels like I tell him everything that’s going on, so what’s there left to ask? Valid point, right? Dammit. I hate when he’s right.
At any rate, last night when I basically sulked and cried and turned my back, he woke up and rolled over and said Babe, I’m really sorry. I do love you. It’s not just that I’m tired. I’m just overwhelmed by this whole thing.
Well, I’m super overwhelmed as well, and I feel like I’m WAY more overwhelmed than him… but that wasn’t the right response either apparently. *sigh*
Basically, I had to learn to backtrack and shut up and say I’m sorry… we’re both overwhelmed. And this sucks. But it’s our life. This will work out somehow. In the meantime, I’ll try to not be crazy b/c of a dark line on pee stick. I love you.