The End of an Age… or at least of my 20s

Growing up, age never really bothered me. When I hit 21, I never thought it was the last of the “good” birthdays. I was never afraid to get older. When I moved to Colorado just before my 23rd birthday, the girl who ended up being my best friend (and roommate, coworker, and copartier) was 28, nearly 29, and she was excited to turn 30. You see, her Mom had always told her that was the best year of her life, hence she was excited for her 30th year as well. What a great way to think about things, you know? Instead of dreading 30 and freaking out, she looked forward to it! I always figured that’d be me as well.

That being said, I turned 29 today. At this point, if by some miracle we conceive naturally in the next couple of cycles, I might have my first child by 30, but most likely, we’re going to be moving on to IUI or IVF at some point this year and hopefully be having a child at some point in our 30th year (my husband turned 29 just 22 days before me).

That scares the SHIT out of me.

I don’t care so much about being 30 while having my first child, but YIKES, if it’s taking us this long to try to conceive with the 1st, we’re going to start running out of time to have more before we hit the dreaded 35 and high-risk pregnancy is a part of our lives.

I don’t want to regret taking my 20s to find the right guy and to travel and enjoy life with my husband, but it’s so hard to not be jealous of my friends who got married straight out of college and started having kids right away. I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if I’d been 22 and TTC instead of 29. Has anyone else ever wondered about that?


  1. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSEY!!! I know birthdays have a little more meaning when TTC, and life doesn't always happen according to our time lines (I'm guilty of this too) but God has a plan for you, and you're right where you should be.I wish you a happy and healthy 29th year :)Love you xox

  2. First of all, happy birthday!! To you and your hubby!! And second of all, I've been afraid of the age thing too. I thought for sure I'd have my first by 25 and my second/last by 30. Obviously that wasn't in the cards for me. People are waiting longer to have kids these days so I think we are totally in the norm. This will happen for you! Just when it is supposed to.

  3. Happy Birthday Girl! I have SOO much to say on this post I should probably just email you all my wise old life lessons but lets see if I can summarize:You share a birthday with The Boy, you must be awesome. He's old today though. :)My 30s have been the best years of my life, I don't miss my 20s at all. The tumult of finances, job insecurity, relationship craziness. My 30s have brought stability in every area and the experience to handle the areas that still get crazy. Many of my friends who got married earlier in life ended up changing so much in their 20s that their marriages no longer suited them. Doing those things early in life is not always the best route. PLUS! You were married at what? 26/27? Jeesh girl, that WAS young!

  4. Happy Birthday!!!Also, I'm jealous of all the places you've traveled and seen! I don't know, then if you were 22, there'd be so much you wouldn't know or probably care about the way you would now, you know?

  5. Happy Birthday!! Enjoy your day!

  6. I'm so right there with you on this. I always thought that as long as I was married, I would feel ok as I got older, but now I've replaced that with "as long as I have kids". Turns out I am not to be pleased no matter what. 🙂

  7. I've got to agree with Oak on this one. I feel older than I am, 28 in April, but in my group I'm one of the older moms and got married years after my friends. At the time I wanted things to hurry up, but I wouldn't go back and change it. I know more about who I am and we are comfortable in our relationship and life and I think all of that will make me a better mom and Josh (who is 34) a better dad. I really do believe that times have changed and the 30s are a perfect time to start a family.That being said, I stil know it sucks to wait and I hope you have your first by 30. :hugs:

  8. First off, Happy Birthday! Hope you are doing something really fun today. maybe snowboarding. I think about that ALL the time. Was I being selfish waiting so long? If I had just agreed to have a baby right when we got married and Andy was the one trying to get me to go for it, would I have had any trouble at all? Is it because I spent a good 6 years saying I never wanted to have kids? Am I being punished for that? It is hard not living in those what if's, but this is your year girl! I can feel it. The RE is going to figure out what all is going on with your lady parts and come up with the best solution and before you know it you'll be drooling into your cleavage just like me….seriously though, I woke up to find drool on my pillow. I am like the saliva queen all of a sudden. It is ridiculous.

  9. Happy birthday! I know in my heart that this is the year for you to start expanding your brood. Maybe you should have been looking forward to 29 all along :)Also, the age thing is all relative. I distinctly remember thinking that I wish when I turned 12, I could just start all over again. Because NOTHING cool happened after you turned 12.

  10. Happy Birthday!You and I are in the same boat. I will turn 30 in September and I ALWAYS said that I'd have atleast 1 child before I turned 30. Well, sister, that ain't gonna happen! LOL It's heartbreaking, but at the same time, God's plan wasn't for us to have children by age 30 obviously. We have to come to terms with that. Easier said than done. But, we have to remember that our stories are different from our friend's stories. And, think of it this way … what wouldve happened if you HAD gotten married and pregnant at 22 or 24… would your life had turned out as great as it now? So, don't over think it – embrace today and worry about it all tomorrow! 🙂

  11. My husband just turned 29 yesterday and said he definitely hopes to have bun #2 in the oven when he's 31–whoa! We'll see, we'll see. But I do often look at others who had babies when younger than me and feel like they won some race against me, which is so ridiculous. Why can't we get it out of our heads that every aspect of marriage and children is a competition? What about the wonderful years I had before kids that other women missed out on? Anyway, I don't think you're anywhere near needing to worry about #2 and the big 35. The whole high-risk pregnancy thing is very overrated and not worth stressing over!

  12. This same thought has crossed my mind as well. I just try to keep reminding myself that wherever I am or whatever my age is that is exactly where I am meant to be. I do hope for you though (and all of us infertiles) that someday when we have our children and are on the couch all snuggled up with them, that we will be able to take in a deep breath and just "get it" – get why it took so long, get why we had to go through so much for our families. That being said, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Celebrate you today! Worry about the rest tomorrow! 🙂

  13. happy birthday Josey. you are an amazing woman. i too tonight told my husband I wish i were a teenager so i can get pregnant. i don't actually mean it i love being 28 but frusting to be dealing with infertility when you do see people who are your age and have kids that are older.

  14. Thanks for the birthday wishes everyone! I had a great day.

  15. Happy Birthday! I will be 30 in less than a year, so I totally get it. I am not ready, but the thought has certainly crossed my mind. Most of my friends did the marry young start having kids thing and I am so happy for them, but it just wasn't in the cards for me. And I am OK with that.

  16. happy birthday! i just wanted to let you know that you look younger in your pictures- like low to mid-20s. Seriously! i have also heard that life is best in the 30s. you begin to truly learn who you are. here's to hoping that's so true!~Jess

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