Questions for the RE Tomorrow – Please Help!

Hi ladies!!

It’s one of those days – I am freaking out about talking to the RE tomorrow (FINALLY, after 18 months!), and I just realized that I have no idea what kinds of questions I should have prepared. I laid awake last night with my mind-a-spinning, worried, excited, and realizing everything I don’t know about this next step in the journey.

So here are my questions:

Did you bring a list of questions to your initial consult? 
Is there anything you wish you’d have asked that you forgot?

Finally, the appointment is scheduled for 3:45pm, and right now it’s a phone consult, but we’re seriously considering doing the 300 mile / 6 hour drive up there tomorrow morning to meet in person. What do you think – important or no? Would a phone consult work just as well? Apparently it’s pretty common at CC.RM to do a phone consult initially because so many of the patients are from out of state. I was hoping we could kill two birds with one stone and do my ODWU (one day workup) while we were there, but the RE/testing center is booked out for Thurs/Fri, so we’re going to have to wait until next cycle to drive up and do that. Bummer. 🙁

Thank you so much for your help!!


  1. I always bring a list of questions when I'm seeing my doctor. As nice as he is, for some reason I'm always intimidated and forget half the things I wanted to say! So having them written down is a must for me.As for questions…I found it hard with my initial consult because I didn't know what to ask yet. We didn't know what was wrong. He went over a few different scenarios of what it could be, but until we had CD3 u/s and b/w, it was all speculation. I suspect once you have the work-up done, that's when the questions will come flooding in.I would have all your cycle stats ready in front of you (length, average temperatures, O day, post-O p4 levels, etc) so you can provide him with as much info as possible. As well as any results from previous testing (SA included) Maybe even fax them to him prior to the call so he can review it.If I think of any specific questions I'll let you know! xo

  2. I think Amanda hit the nail on the head. I also had issues asking questions on the first visit, mostly because we didn't know what was wrong yet. You probably don't need to worry about taking charts (no doctor ever looked at mine), but they did ask about average cycle length, when I ovulated, etc.Good luck!!!

  3. My RE had lots of questions for ME, which made coming up with my own a little easier. You know a lot more about IF stuff than your regular Joe thanks to blog land, I bet your RE will be impressed. :)I would ask about the cost of everything, but my RE brought that up himself as well.

  4. Even though it hasn't been that long since I first met with my RE, I can't remember if I took questions. My appt. was 4 hours long so I know we talked a lot, just can't remember what about. I had to do a lot of paperwork ahead of time so they knew my history. If when they see you in person they can give you a check up and run some labs, I would say go for it. Until they have that information, I'd think you wouldn't be able to do much. They'll want to make sure your levels are normal and such. Test out your hubby, see if he's OK, those kinds of things. I also brought my charts with me, but I don't even think they looked at them. I bet you get the standard, we'll start with Clomid, then do Clomid + IUI, then injectables + IUI, then IVF. I'd be surprised if they said much different than that. Can't wait to hear how it goes!!

  5. My first consult with the RE was very overwhelming. I wasn't part of this community yet and IVF terrified me. I was still trying to wrap my head around being infertile and sitting in a fertility clinic. Many of my general questions about my RE, the clinic, their hours, their patients, success rates, etc, were answered on the clinic website. I had not had any testing done yet either so my diagnosis was unconfirmed, but I asked alot of questions about unexplained infertility, treatment options, where we start, how long to try each of the empiric therapy steps. I also took my bbt charts (which they looked at). After my tests came back and after more procedures were done I had more questions specific to results, next steps, etc. Looking back, the consult was really just an introduction.I just scheduled an IVF consult in Portland (about 6 hours from me, as well) and chose to do it in person rather than over the phone because I also want to see the clinic (i'm sort of shopping around). It is also easier for me to read people in person and feel comfortable with them. If you are feeling anxious about your consult and know that you are definitely sticking with this place, doing it over the phone may ease some of the feelings that come with stepping foot into the big infertility clinic for the first time. It might make it easier to ask questions because you don't feel so exposed (i think this is especially true for the male partners). Another thing to consider is cost. Can you save a hundred or so bucks by doing the initial consult over the phone?Good luck Josey!!!

  6. Yes, definitely bring questions! When she broke the news to us, I was a hysterical mess so DH was able to go off the list of questions. If you can do your work-up as well as your consult then I say drive it, if you can't do the work-up then I'd just do the phone consult. Good luck girlie and let us know how it goes!

  7. I am excited for you :))) Keeping good thoughts for you both!

  8. Not going to be a lot of help with questions, but I would say not to do the drive. Although it would be cool to see you. I just think if they can't do your work-up then it would be an additional cost that you don't really need right now. Definitely bring lots of questions though. When I met the Nugget Doc and the midwife, first I googled "questions to ask when interviewing a midwife/pediatrician". Maybe if you google for RE questions there will be some good examples.

  9. you have gotten alot of good advice! i would probably just do the phone consult- and just have all the info you have about any previous tests handy. keep us posted!

  10. I brought a list of questions and the RE answered the majority of them just talking to me. They also gave me a binder with the clinic's information in it. Things I wanted to know about hours they're open, days, who does the IUI's or IVF…But obviously a lot depends on what your bloodwork says or what step the RE wants to take next.Good luck!!! How exciting!!

  11. I'm sure you'll do this anyway, but have all your info at hand (e.g., how long you've been trying, any specific cycle issues). Heck, you probably have that memorized!You could ask about your different options and the statistical outcomes/ risks of each. If you don't already know, you might want to ask about weekend/holiday coverage, if you'll see the same doctors, etc. Mostly, I think it was just helpful to hear an expert's recommendations and thoughts on our situation. I think the meeting after the work-up was much longer/more detailed. GOOD LUCK!!!!!

  12. I brought questions to my 1st RE appointment. It helped me stay focused because there was a lot of information thrown at me. Just talking with him will trigger questions you probably won't think about until the consult. I have done plenty of phone consults with my RE and they are fine. I would say stick with the phone consult and get a feel for the Dr. and if you like him then got to the clinic next time. Good luck!!

  13. Good Luck!!! My experience was that my phone consult lasted about 15 minutes, with the bulk of that filled with going over my history from the mountain of paperwork I had to fax in before the consult. Then Dr. Surrey gave me a game plan from there–we would travel out for the ODWU, do the testing, and then he would make decisions about a protocol. Since you aren't officially considered a patient yet, and since they have a lot of testing to do before making decisions, they can't get too specific about what they envision for your cycle. Overall, it was pretty informal. Hope it goes well!

  14. I think I already gave you information overload via email but the more I think about it the more I truly think you should ask if he will be willing to do an aggressive protocol with you. I think this for 3 reasons:1. you've done clomid with no success2. you've got a long ass drive to see him and there are costs associated with that3. you're paying out of pocket, let's go with the most effective protocol first as save time and money by going step by step.

  15. Thinking about you! Love yoU!

  16. Josey, I don't have any specific questions that would be helpful to add to your list but I do think it helps ease nerves to have one prepared. When I get nervous I also get really forgetful….so I always bring lists of questions with me too! My RE usually ends up answering all of them just in our conversations together so I never really have to pull out the "list" but it just gives me peace of mind that I am not leaving the office or the phone call with questions unanswered. I hope that your conversation goes smoothly and you come away from it with a bunch of confidence in your new RE and your plan. Thinking about you!

  17. I don't have anything to add to the already great advice you have gotten, just wanted to wish you luck tomorrow!

  18. Just write a list of questions down, any and all you may have and ask them or see if the RE will answer them in his/her discussion with you. I'd rather ask a million questions than forget the one that will bug me until I get ahold of the doc again.

  19. You have gotten lots of great advice so far! I just have a few things to add:1. if you don't feel like you have any questions, list out your frustrations of what you have experienced up to this point with all your TTC techniques, etc… this will act as a spring board for your RE to ask YOU questions.2. Also list your goals. Of course the primary goal is to have a baby, but list your small goals for what you want to accomplish along the way. Again, this will give your RE a good of idea as to how to direct the beginnings of your care.3. if you haven't read these two books yet, they are a MUST!- The Infertility Companion, Glahn and Cutrer- Taking Charge of Your Fertility, Toni WeschlerThey do an excellent job explaining everything that goes on in the infertility world.My first RE appointment is next month, so I will definitely be looking forward to what you learn from your appointment. You will be in my prayers today!Good luck!

  20. I would definitely bring some questions for sure! Since you think you have PCOS (which is what I have) here are some questions that I would ask:-What type of bloodwork will you use to determine if I have PCOS?-If they say they'll do FSH (which checks for ovarian reserve) ask them to do an AMH, too, which is the gold standard for checking on ovarian reserve. For some season alot of clinics don't do this blood test unless you ask. So definitely ask. AMH also tells you if you have PCOS more accurately than FSH.-Ask what they'll do if you do have PCOS? Will they prescibe you Metformin? (This is normal–I've been on it for a year at 1,000 mg/day.)-If you do a medicated cycle first with timed intercourse and an Ovidrel shot, do they use Clomid or Femara/Letrazole? I used the latter as it has little to no side effects at all unlike Clomid, which they often call the "Clomid Crazies."-How many medicated cycles would they do before moving on to more aggressive treatment?-What is their success rate with medicated cycles? IUIs? IVF?-Ask for the codes from the RE or the nurse for each blood test and procedure (i.e., HSG and semen analysis). That way you can call your insurance directly and see what is and what isn't covered. (My insurance didn't cover the HSG or semen analysis but covered all bloodwork and ultrasounds.)I hope this helps!! Good luck!!

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