Okay… I’ll start this post off with a quick disclaimer. I always try really hard to NOT be that girl that bitches and moans non-stop about the fertiles around her (and about their endless FB posts). Like has been said before, their fertility isn’t causing my infertility. Their pregnancy announcement will never been the cause of my BFN.
Believe me, that doesn’t mean I’ve perfected the art of being instantly happy and congratulatory to those who seem to get KU at the drop of a hat…BUT, I try hard to control the negative reaction, because what good would those negative vibes do me?
Some days though… some days I just need to step away from the computer. The girl I’m about to talk about is a nice person. She’s beautiful. She’s a year younger than me, and she married a really good guy friend of mine from college. And apparently, she’s incredibly fertile. Here are her last few posts:
Is 20 weeks from being the mom of 3 boys under 4. Wow I really need to question my decision making abilities.
Looks about 7 months pregnant at 22 weeks. Please tell me that I will slow down.
Misses wine. And beer. And beergaritas. July seems like forever away. Was anyone elses third pregnancy the longest?
I get it. Pregnancy can be hard. Three boys under 4 can be hard. But when you have this perfect little family and seemingly no problems getting pregnant, it’s still hard as hell for me to control my knee-jerk gut reaction of crazy, insane jealousy and frustration that you’re complaining about it. UGHHHHHHH!
PS – Thankfully, even though with her first two pregnancies there were many MANY ultrasound pics and belly shots, with this pregnancy she didn’t post a SINGLE thing on FB until 20 weeks, and she has yet to post any pictures. I know, it’s totally her prerogative to proclaim it to the rooftops, and if she had, she’d probably be hidden in my feed right now. Who knows, maybe when I get my BFP I will want to post those things myself (with a note about how hard it was to reach that spot in our journey!), but at this point in my journey, my tender infertile heart really appreciates it that she hasn’t.
Jealousy is an ugly bitch, isn’t she?