The other night I was laying in bed and completely unable to fall asleep. My hubby sleeps from 8pm-4am lately, which means I usually end up with a couple of hours to kill before I actually doze off. This is the one time in our marriage that I’ve actually really liked having a TV in our bedroom! At any rate, I decided to watch the British movie Maybe Baby the other night. Being that it was billed as a “Comedy/Romance,” I was full of trepidation that it was going to be another highly unrealistic portrayal of IF and the struggles that people go through – you know the kind. Let’s have a baby, we aren’t pregnant after one month, something’s wrong!
Honestly, I was pleasantly surprised. They didn’t skip steps (or tests or emotional upheaval)…and it honestly felt very…real. Obviously someone who has actually struggled with this disease wrote the book it was based on, because it is by far the best IF themed show/movie I’ve ever watched. (i just read a review that mentioned that the director’s wife was going through IVF during filming – that makes sense!)
Probably 3/4 of the way through the movie, the couple is going through IVF, and the wife is standing outside of a playground. What she said absolutely touched me to the core. I dare you to read and not cry (or at least identify!).
As we get closer to the day which may or may not see me reborn, the longing inside me seems to become almost physical. A sort of morning sickness for the barren and the unfulfilled.
Every young mother that I see is a simultaneous moment of exaltation and despair.
I don’t know why it is that women feel such a deep need to create life from within themselves…why they yearn for a time when their own flesh will bring them comfort…but I know that they do. That’s an experience that most women – women with children – miss out on in life…the intensely female grief which accompanies the fear that those children might never exist.
You see what I mean? A powerful statement within a powerful movie. I won’t tell you more about it in case you decide to rent it, but at least it’s not the kind of film that will have you throwing things at the TV!
*Side note, it’s probably not a movie you’d want to watch on a sad TTC day. It’s too emotional – too real. Also, don’t read the comments on IMDB – it’s a bunch of ignorant ppl who haven’t struggled with IF and don’t realize the stress it puts on a marriage.