I can’t say I’m a fan of either of those things, though at least the Type-A side of me gets a creepy sense of satisfaction from the columns and rows of the budget spreadsheets.
The realization yesterday that I have only four weeks of work left brought about the holy shit we’d better get budgeting side of me. The jobs I’ve been working all summer were great and allowed me to get off of federal emergency unemployment benefits, but the frustrating part is that I knew all along that they were both just seasonal jobs (May15-Oct15), and now I have no clue what comes next. As of mid-October when both of my current serving jobs will end, I still have 10 weeks PRE-baby to go, not to mention the time I’d like to spend home with the child post-delivery if possible. I live in a tiny-ass town with very few job opportunities though, so I’m kind of stuck about what to do next. My whole life I’ve worked full-time, and never have I worked for a company big enough to offer maternity benefits, etc. I can’t even imagine having that option.
The up-side to this is that I definitely didn’t get pregnant under the assumption that we’d have a normal income coming in around delivery time.
The down-side to this past crazy year of going from full-time employment to unemployment to seasonal employment is that it hasn’t really hit me until now that we have a lot of weeks/months that we’re going to need to survive on one income if something doesn’t change asap (and b/c of where we live and the cost of our mortgage, we are definitely incapable of surviving on one income long term).
While I went through our finances today and worked on the budget, I also realized that some hack had charged $200 to our Capital One card yesterday at a Wal-Mart in Texas. UGH. It’s easy enough to call and cancel the card and get the charges reimbursed, but the part that makes me want to rip my hair out is having to go through everything and re-setup all of my auto-pay accounts. I know I’ll forget something, and it’s a pain in the ass. What kind of person makes a living as a hacker anyway? Asshole.
So yeah, days like this stress me out. I know that things will work out somehow, but FUCK, I hate having to worry about money. The IFer side of me feels like we spent so much to GET pregnant that somehow from now on, money shouldn’t be an issue because we’ve paid our dues. Right? Right?!
Ha. Ya right.