To the girl I met at the bar last night…

Does that sound like a creepy CraigsList personals ad? Oops. I have a good reason though!

I was working a double yesterday (it should be my LAST double of this pregnancy – yahoo!!!), and a couple sat at my bar while they waited for a table for dinner. We got to talking, realized they’re originally from WI, I’m originally from MN, and we had a nice chat. They left for their table for dinner, and afterwards sat at the bar again for a bit. The husband made a comment about me maybe having multiples, and since I’ve gotten to the point where I’m pretty open about sharing about our TTC journey, I said something to the effect of “Nope, thanks to the fertility treatments we used, we had a 1 in 4 chance, but there’s definitely only one in there!”

…to which he responded, “yeah, we’re just getting started on that journey.”

Oof.

Part of me was instantly glad I had said something, because I know how freakin’ hard it was to see pregnant people everywhere when all I wanted with my heart and soul was to be pregnant.

Who am I kidding, it’s still freakin’ hard. FML.

The flip side of me wondered if the girl really wanted to get into it when they were having a nice weekend away for their anniversary.

We ended up chatting for awhile, and it turns out that after 18 months TTC (if I remember right), she was just officially diagnosed with PCOS, and the week of the diagnosis, found out THREE of her closest friends and relatives were pregnant after just deciding to start trying – ouch. I know how hard it is to be at the beginning of this journey and feel like there is SO much to learn, so I wrote down the address of this blog for her in case she wanted to learn from all that we all have been through. You ladies are all so amazing and can provide such a wealth of information to newbies in the IF world – I want to share you with everyone! 🙂

The point of this entire post, is that on my drive home, I realized that in the couple of hours that we chatted, I never asked her name or told her mine. Oops.

So if you’re reading this, random girl from the front range, thanks for stopping in, feel free to email me, and I hope you’re pregnant ASAP!!

15 comments

  1. You're hilarious….nice title. I loved your dedication to this lady. I told someone we're IVF too, and turns out they are as well! I'm learning that it's more common than you'd think and never a bad idea to mention it. Good for you!

  2. Doesn't it feel good to reach out to people and hope to help them through their journey? :)Might sound cheesy, but I think you guys were meant to run into each other. Maybe they really really needed that. To see you pregnant but then to learn that you have been through it too! Im sure it gave them hope. And I hope she finds your blog 🙂

  3. Josey your soo sweet! 🙂 As a 'newbie' in the IF blogging world I love that you have totally invited me in and made me feel right at home! Your the best!And to the new girl–Welcome!! And like Josey said–Hope you get pregnant ASAP! We are all on the same journey just different paths!

  4. Good for you to reach out to her. Even though people do not know about my blog IRL, I do not hide the fact that it took modern medicine to get us to this point. 1 in 8… that's many more out there who just may need someone to listen or to hear our stories. Hope she finds your blog and can get encouragement from others on the same journey!

  5. I'm so very glad you had this conversation with her, and I hope she takes you up on your offer to be in touch. We went through years and years of infertility and treatments without much hope and really without anyone to talk with. The past year has been a complete turn around for both my husband and I. Having others we can talk to that understand, and learning from others that have been through what we have and also what we haven't has completely changed how we approach and experience this entire journey. I hope your invitation welcomes her into this supportive community that we found far too late. And you're absolutely an amazing part of it!!! 🙂

  6. aw, i'm glad you met a fellow wisconsinite! Hopefully the couple bragged about how great all of our sports teams are doing right now. kidding. no, no i'm not. :)I'm glad they met you and learned that other people struggle to get pregnant too. IF can be so isolating, especially when your closest friends and family members get pregnant so easily..

  7. Glad you reached out – it does suck and it helps to find others out there who are going thru the same feelings.

  8. Yeah I have found more strength to come out with that info when talking to people. And I have found a few people respond that they have had similar troubles. Hope she stops by. I think we all know how much the support helps.

  9. It's amazing how many of us struggle with this and never really talk about it. Glad you reached out to her! I'm new to your blog… loved reading your story and your happy ending! :o)

  10. You do sound a little creepy, but in a very friendly and positive way!

  11. Love the title…when I first read it I was like huh? Makes perfect sense now. That was sweet of you to be so open with them. Great post!

  12. awesome post title! ;)good for you for opening up to them about it. finding the IF community made such a huge difference in how i handled all of this. i just wish i'd found it a lot sooner and not almost 6 years into it.i hope she reads your post and dives right into this fabulous community and that she finds the support she needs and friends that will stand the test of time.wow, that sounds sappy…but totally true! 🙂

  13. Aw, I was reading through the comments hoping she had posted something. I hope you find her!You're a great networker Josey…she's lucky to have been in your bar that night 🙂

  14. There are times when someone has shared about their difficulty in getting pregnant, and I have stayed mum(not as in ignoring the person, but as in not offering advice or any solace). It is usually when the other person does not seem to be ready to come clean on what they are experiencing or if they have no value for what I might tell.But sometimes, when one is able to connect this way, even if the other person is a random stranger, I feel like I have done well to have spoken so.I hope the other couple remember you and remember your warm words.And many many many good wishes their way!

  15. Josey…It's the girl from the bar! My name is Tiffany and as I can see yours is Josey:)I am so sorry that I didn't respond sooner. When we left your beautiful town to come back to our home in the front range, I got busy with going back to work, unpacking, and settling back into reality. But so you know, you were talked about often between now and then and I have thought about you much. I thought of you that Thursday you went to meet your friends, wishing in a small way I was going with you. It sounds like you had a great time. There doesn't seem to be any right words to say to you but the least I can say is thank you. It's a crazy, random story that not only did we meet but that our conversation led us to our problems with TTC and all that has gone with it. I thank God for that randomness that brought us together that night and now know that it wasn't random at all, but planned out and meant to be long before we ever knew. Like you have said, not just any old person can relate and understand to what we are going through and knowing that this kind of support exists is amazing. Your blog is so touching it has brought tears to my eyes. Especially to see that after all you been through and are still going through, you have taken the time to reach out to me on here. I just can't tell you what that means to me. You are such a sweet and amazing person. Over the next few days/weeks, I am going to continue to read your blog and others. The resources are amazing. And maybe I'll even start my own…we'll see on that. I hope that we can keep in touch and maybe even see each other again one day.To all the other fellow readers/bloggers, you are in my thoughts and prayers and wish you all nothing but the best. You're all amazing people.TiffanyP.S. To the fellow Wisconsite, we did do a little bragging about our sports:) It's kind of a given when people find out where we are from. We love our sports teams and in the words of my husband, Go Pack!

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