Stop with the Paparazzi, Mom

I jest in the title, but in all seriousness, my little girl has hundreds of pictures of her first week of life thanks to me and and my Mom. I find myself in absolute awe of her – every silly little thing she does, every face she makes, every wrinkle on her finger… I “need” a picture of it, stat!

Thanks to Sarah @ Baby Talk for the onesie!

That being said, while in the midst of TTC/IF hell, it killed me to see cute pictures of babies. I would sadistically, neurotically, and greedily look for them on Facebook, even though every picture of another cute little face was a punch to the gut. I swore I wouldn’t do that myself if I were ever blessed with a child, and here I am, one week in, with 25+ pictures already in an album on FB.

And I just can’t stop uploading.


Thanks to Beeker’s Mom @ The Adventures of Beeker for the AWESOME blanket!

I’m worried about that in this space as well…much more worried, actually. Before I was pregnant, I never begrudged PAIFers who posted ultrasound pictures, belly pictures, nursery pictures and the like. More often than I’d like to admit, I had to unfollow people for awhile (or just skim those posts)… just because it was simply too hard on my heart, but I never thought they shouldn’t “be allowed” to post those pics and express their thankfulness and joy. I always knew that I, myself, would want the opportunity to post those same photos someday, so I did my absolute best to remind myself that their being pregnant wasn’t the reason I wasn’t.

In some ways I feel the same about baby pictures. This is my little space on the blogosphere where I can document Stella’s life, and I don’t want to feel guilty about that. However, I also know that the vast majority of my followers are fellow IFers, and there is a sense of responsibility that goes along with knowing that. I have 190+ followers, and according to my stat counter, 400+ individual people actually click through to my blog every day, and I know that so many of you are still in the midst of the IF trenches.

Even being here, on my couch, with my baby in my arms… I still feel 100% more connected to (and a part of) the IF community than to any sort of “Mommy Blogger” mentality. I’m petrified of losing my connection to any of the amazing women I’ve met through this space over the past two years, and because of that, I’m feeling a need to censor my posts, my pictures, etc.

How do you find that balance?

Over the next few months, you might see changes in the content around here, you might not. I’m honestly not sure how to proceed. The milestones my daughter reaches, the weight loss struggles I face, the marital highs and lows, the employment and career frustrations in my life… all of these things are important to me and will probably be things I write about, but in what proportions or percentages, I’m not sure.

All I can say is thank you in advance for supporting me through the hardest couple years of my life thus far, and that I hope I can continue to be there for you, wherever you are at on the journey.

Thanks for reading…

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26 comments

  1. I hope you post lots of pictures of your beautiful little girl. I'd also love to hear all about what it's like in the trenches with a new baby. As someone who hasn't been blessed with kids and doesn't know if I ever will be, I think it's wonderful to live vicariously through your blog. You're connecting me to something I don't have, something I want in my life but don't know if I'll ever achieve. It's lovely and I am so glad you share honestly in this space!

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  2. I too struggle with that, and I think you'll find I try to throw random posts in between my posts about Chloe. But in all reality, when I look back on my blog, I hope to convert it into a book someday for her. For her, not anyone else. So she won't care about my random posts, she wants to read about how I document her life. So even though I will always be there for fellow IF'ers and will always feel more comfortable in that community, I can't be ashamed of what I have and sensor myself. You shouldn't either.

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  3. Get out with that bow. SO CUTE! And awww yay she's got my onesie on 🙂 :)She's adorable, Josey. In my opinion, you post as many pics as your heart desires!!!! This is your blog, your life, your hard earned baby girl. This is your time. If people, have a hard time reading about baby and seeing pics, well then they can go on the their merry little way. I know I may sound harsh, but its how I feel. I just have a hard time with people who stop following because someone gets pregnant or finally has their baby. This is the goal we are working for in the IF community and we have to support each other no matter what 🙂

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  4. I hear you. I had no idea what or how to post after I had Caroline so I just didn't post. Some of it was just wanting to be wrapped up in that baby goodness that took almost 4 years to reach and the other part was not wanting to make fellow IFers feel worse.I still don't know where the line is but I had E when I started blogging so I figure if someone couldn't or didn't want to see that or hear about her (which I get) then they wouldn't read or follow.Seriously, Stella is a-dorable! I love the pictures 🙂 They change so, so much the first few months/years. Enjoy it!

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  5. Girl, you know how I feel about bows like that. :PThat said, Stella is ADORABLE, and you already know how I feel about what you write in YOUR blog space.I love you dearly, my friend.

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  6. I felt the same way when I got pregnant. I wasn't sure how I wanted to include my new status with my IF blog. And I also didn't do much on FB about our pregnancy either. I really think you should continue to post pics here and on FB. Even though I totally understand your hesitation. During the four years I spent in IF hell there were times when the pics and other people's good news killed me, but I knew it was up to me to select what I could handle. And just know that others will likely do the same… (P.S. When I'm struggling and posting about this in a few weeks, will you remind me what I said here?) 😛

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  7. OMG!!!! Congrats 🙂 I've been MIA in the blog world lately, and just got all caught up on your posts!!! I'm so happy, and excited for you 🙂 I'm glad your birthing experience went off without a hitch 🙂 She's georgous Josey!!! And, I don't think there is anything wrong with posting hundreds of pictures of your precious baby girl all over the place 🙂 She's just too cute for words!!! Good luck, and congrats again!!!! p.s. I'm having a c-section tomorrow 🙂 I'll be posting hundreds of pictures of my lil man too!!! Yay 🙂

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  8. I'm looking forward to all of your upcoming posts… pictures, updates, and everything. I've read this same feeling expressed by other PAIFers I follow, and I've felt the same since having Firecracker on the way.I think what you write is key: this is your space. You need to do with it what is true to your journey. Personally, I always found that posts by PAIFers to be encouraging and inspiring. Yes, there were some days that my heart really hurt and some posts that were hard to read, but even those reminded me that there was still hope and that one way or another, our struggle would eventually be behind us. It helped me to remember that however long this lasts, this will be a stage of life, and one that forms me into who I ultimately will be.

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  9. You need to decide what kind of blog you want. If you want to it to continue to be a personal blog about what you're going through in your own life, then please do that!!!If, on the other hand, you want it to be a IF blog, then you can continue to keep tabs on all things IF and update that community as you see fit. There's nothing wrong with sticking to what you know and running with it.I, personally, want to know about your life. That's why I started reading in the first place. Obviously I can't speak for any of your other readers, but that's why I'm here. If you need/want to start – yet another 🙂 – blog to keep things separate but equal, I'll just follow you on over there. If you allow me haha

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  10. As a fellow IFer and now pregnant, I understand your concerns. I think that it is your blog and it should be filled with content you wish to write about. During the IF trials there were many days were I could not handle looking at u/s, belly shots or baby pics, but never once did i think they shouldn't be posted, I perhaps just skipped reading those posts till another day.

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  11. Please don't ever censor your posts, Josey. Looking at pictures of baby Stella truly gives me hope that I'll be a mother someday too. She sure is a beautiful little miracle, isn't she? Congratulations to you and C!

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  12. eggsinarow · · Reply

    Ok, the pic with the scrabble onesie? Magazine material. I mean it.I appreciate everything you said in this post, and I can't wait until I get to write the same thing. In the meantime, I'm loving Stella. So there. 😉

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  13. It's tough to make that transition. You don't want to offend anyone, but this is your space too and you want to document the new center of your life!You could always create a family blog and continue this one?Either way I will be reading!

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  14. I feel the exact same way about my blog. All I feel I do is blog about Taylor. But, I get the most traffic and comments on baby posts, so I know it can't be that bad.And yeah, the facebook pictures over here are out of control. I actually apologized to my facebook friends for the overload of pictures.We are proud mommies!

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  15. First of all, holy headband mom!!!Secondly, post whatever you like, people have a choice to read or not. I personally am so happy for you and seeing pictures of your beautiful daughter gives me hope.

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  16. I started following you originally because of how honest you were with yourself and readers. Id hate for you to feel censored in your own special place on the web. I do have an emotional reaction to seeing Stella. But it is one of pure amazement and wonder. She is the result of the IF journey. You cant discount the happy ending! Write what you want and everyone will manage their own feelings. I cant wait to hear about everything in your life post pregnancy! If i didnt follow you during your pregnancy i would have missed out in tons of great info! 🙂

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  17. I started following you originally because of how honest you were with yourself and readers. Id hate for you to feel censored in your own special place on the web. I do have an emotional reaction to seeing Stella. But it is one of pure amazement and wonder. She is the result of the IF journey. You cant discount the happy ending! Write what you want and everyone will manage their own feelings. I cant wait to hear about everything in your life post pregnancy! If i didnt follow you during your pregnancy i would have missed out in tons of great info! 🙂

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  18. Honestly how can you resist?? She is gorgeous! I love your blog and regardless of what you choose to write about, I will be reading!

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  19. Stirrup Queens just had a blog about this and I myself have been struggling with this dilemma. I know we want more kids and to get them we'll have to do an FET, but do I stop posting on my blog until we start treatment again? And pictures…actually I waited until I saw yours before I posted any. I do my best to be upfront and honest in my posts and try not to censor myself. My followers know this. I hope they continue to follow, but if they choose to leave I have to respect where they are in their journey. My blog is my space. Yours didn't start out as an IF blog, but you kind of stumbled into it. My blog is definitely an IF blog, it started that way and well…it's going to continue that way. Now it's just going to be Parenting after IF and secondary IF treatments for our future children.Do what you feel is right, this is your space to be you….it is your "therapy" after all….

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  20. ps…Raegan has more than 300 pictures already…I'm breaking in my new camera and all the functions I can do with it….there's nothing wrong with a proud mama!!!

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  21. Ahhhhh!!! She is amazing! Amazing!! We will read your birthing story together tonight! I can't wait!

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  22. Wow, I couldn't have said it better myself. I didn't discover the world of IF blogs until I was pregnant with my son. We'd gone through 4 years of infertility by that point, and were set to adopt when I got pregnant spontaneously. It took me a long time to even comment on other blogs, because I felt so much like I was flaunting the fact that I was pregnant. I had a hard time figuring out where I fit in, because I just didn't connect with mommy blogs, and still felt such strong feelings related to infertility and adoption. Personally, I haven't found the balance. I feel okay posting pictures, but I still feel the need to be apologetic when I dedicate entire posts to my kids, or to my thoughts on birth control.You'll figure it out, and I think most of your readers will stay. It's not necessarily the content of what you're saying so much as it is your honesty about it all that keep people reading. 🙂

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  23. Hi Josey, I'm Lindsay:) I've been reading your blog for a few months now but this is my 1st comment. Stella is so perfect and so, so lovely. Congratulations!

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  24. I hope you write about all the topics you mention 🙂

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  25. Josey, you worked so hard for Stella and you went through a lot. How could you not be totally wrapped up in her and not want to post 8 million pictures of everything she does? I think the vast majority of people in the IF world are supportive and they want you to share. It's what we all want and one more success story is encouraging to everyone.Personally, I look forward to an obnoxious number of pictures.

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  26. Girl, you have been such a support for so many of us out here, don't you worry one bit about celebrating in your success as a Mommy. We are all so happy for you. I cannot believe I got missing for two weeks and you decide to have baby Stella? 🙂 What the crap?! She is GORGEOUS and I loved reading her birth story. I am so happy for you that it went well and both of you are happy, healthy and in love. Congratulations Mom!

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Virtual Hugs (FYI - your comment may be held in moderation for me to approve if you have never commented here before - I try to approve as quickly as possible!)

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