To Sleep or Not To Sleep

Miss Mac just wrote a great post about how they have five different types of beds for their little boy and had grand plans for his sleep habits, and yet every night he ends up sleeping in her arms, warm and snugly, for hours at a time, on and off the boob buffet.
I can so relate. 🙂
The plan was to have Stella sleep, tightly swaddled, in the Arm’s Reach co-sleeper. That way she wasn’t actually in bed with us, but she was bundled up safe and close for the middle of the night feedings. Great plan, right? 
I took this picture during a nap that Miss Stella took this past week, but it is definitely not the norm.
This. This is the norm.

During the day, she’ll doze in the swing. She’ll doze in the boppy. She’ll doze in my bed. She’ll doze on Daddy’s chest. She’ll doze on Mommy’s chest. She’ll doze in the moby. She’ll doze in my lap. She probably dozes everywhere they tell you not to let your child sleep.

…and you know what? I don’t think it makes me a bad Mom.

I DON’T co-sleep while drunk and I’m not a super deep sleeper. I 100% trust that I’m not going to roll out of bed in the middle of the night, and I also don’t believe that I could roll over on my daughter. If I was worried about it at all, I wouldn’t co-sleep.
I DON’T leave her unattended near loose blankets or pillows that she could slide down and suffocate in.

I DO sleep more (as do my husband and daughter) thanks to co-sleeping.
I DO get more time to cuddle with my daughter.
I DO love the quality time together.
I DO nurse on demand, and I’m sure that contributes to my sleeping preferences.
I DO think that everyone is different, and this is what works for us.

I’m reading The Happiest Baby on the Block, and so far I really like it. He really stresses how these first few months YOU CANNOT SPOIL A BABY by holding her too much or by picking her up when she cries. She’s used to being held and fed 24/7 in your womb, so this world is a huge adjustment to say the least. Even if you’re holding her 12 hours a day right now, that feels like a 50% reduction to her – not like spoiling!

I don’t know how to express it better than by saying that this feels right to me.

It feels right to pick her up when she cries.
It feels right to nurse her when she’s hungry instead of trying to get her on a schedule already.
It feels right to cuddle as much as possible while I can!

I’m not against a routine per se…I just don’t think it’s critical to follow one very strictly these first few months when she is so tiny and needs to eat and sleep so often.

We are starting to do more of a bed time routine. Around 8pm, I change her, swaddle her up tight in her halo sleepsack (she really does sleep better tightly swaddled right now), and nurse her. Then I put her down drowsy in the co-sleeper, and we cross our fingers and pray that she’ll at least sleep the first 3-4 hr stretch in there.

When she does, it’s nice! I’m not gonna lie… 🙂
Charlie and I get to cuddle and watch some TV and sleep a couple of hours.

When she doesn’t, that’s okay too!
I pull her into bed, snuggle her up close, and shhhh her until she goes to sleep (or give her the boob until she falls asleep).

I’m sure our sleep routine will change greatly as she grows.
I’m sure that routines will become more important to follow, and she’ll be able to go longer between feedings which will help everything.
I’m sure I’ll rejoice the first time I sleep more than 2-3 hours at a time (much less through the night).
I’m sure I’ll want more cuddly alone time with my husband, and some day that will prompt us to move her to the crib in the next room.

But in the meantime, I’m going to enjoy every minute of my cuddle time with my baby, and that’s okay.

Advertisements

23 comments

  1. Well she look stinkin adorable in all the places she dozes 🙂

    Like

  2. I love the pics of her in sleeping in the Boppy! So cuddly! I agree, whatever works for your family is the right thing to do.

    Like

  3. That picture of her cuddling with the boppy is TOO much. LOVE IT.And definitely do what feels right regarding sleeping. I loved The Happiest Baby on The Block. Now, since Taylor is 3.5 months old, I have to get her to sleep at night without her swaddle….at some point…right? 🙂

    Like

  4. She is such a little peanut! I say do what works best for you! A well rested mommy is a happy mommy which leads to a happy baby!

    Like

  5. Everyone has to do their own thing…you're not beating your child or starving her or torturing her….so of course you're not a bad parent. Because of my medical background it's hard for me to adjust to not being on a schedule. Rae pretty much rules the roost. It's been quite an adjustment. She sleeps where ever she wants. She eats whenever she wants. My husband and I have chosen not to co-sleep for our own personal reasons. Raegan sleeps in a cradle right next to me and we're perfectly happy with that. During the day, she sleeps where ever….the pack n play, the play mat, the swing, the baby bjorn(i'm meaning to get my butt over to get a moby, but they're always out of stock).As long as the baby is healthy and growing, you're doing just fine….The pics are fun…thanks for sharing….

    Like

  6. I love the idea of co-sleeping when they're teeny tiny like this. I learned such an interesting statistic on the Today show last month 100% of baby's who die in the bed are bottle-fed! Co-sleeping is only safe for nursing babies, isn't that interesting?! I had no idea. Anyway, looks like your intuition is working for you guys, love it!

    Like

  7. I love the idea of co-sleeping when they're teeny tiny like this. I learned such an interesting statistic on the Today show last month 100% of baby's who die in the bed are bottle-fed! Co-sleeping is only safe for nursing babies, isn't that interesting?! I had no idea. Anyway, looks like your intuition is working for you guys, love it!

    Like

  8. I say whatever works for you is what you should do! I don't understand why people are so judgie….Your little one is a cutie!

    Like

  9. I truly agree that you cannot spoil a new baby. And I'm living every moment as such. I also live by her schedule. If we're late somewhere (within reason, and with the exception of Dr. Appointments) we're late, if my dinner gets cold cause she's hungry, so be it. I am more than happy to give up my needs for her. Sounds like you're the same way!LOVE the pictures of her sleeping, btw. So precious!

    Like

  10. I could have written this post myself!!! Those adorable sleeping pictures remind me exactly of what we are doing as well. I had every intention and always said I would never sleep with my child, but that's the only thing that feels natural for us right now and I am loving every second!!!

    Like

  11. I say however you can get some sleep is what you have to do! If you're happy and baby is happy that is all that matters!

    Like

  12. This post makes me feel so much better about my baby and how he sleeps. Like right now he's sleeping in his bouncy chair, it's the only place he naps lately!Also, just wanted to say that your baby is adorable 🙂

    Like

  13. I can't imagine co-sleeping because I was so afraid to roll on her that I couldn't sleep. I also never fed her laying down because the milk can drain into their ear canals and cause infection. Ouch! Everyone is different though! I'm curious to see how this second baby will do in relation to the first!

    Like

  14. AMEN! Team co-sleeping here and I don't want to worry about what others think either if my baby is safe, healthy and happy! It is nice to know there are others out there that feel the same. Now, if he will sleep just a few hours in the pack and play– then I can have the best of both worlds- snuggle time with baby and DH! I'm going to download the book suggestion on the nook this evening, thank you Josie! P.S. I did purchase a rock and play sleeper today to add to our collection:]

    Like

  15. Sounds like you've got it down. Whatever works is what's going to happen.We co-sleep and it saves me from being up all night trying to rock a baby that doesn't want to be rocked.She's just a doll and I love how she can be all curled up on the boppy like that… so cute!

    Like

  16. Absolutely! I loved Happiest Baby on the Block too. VERY helpful. Sleep where you are comfortable. I couldn't sleep with J when he was a tiny baby – I was too scared. But now we do it quite a bit.Just cuddle and hold her to your heart's content – they are only tiny such a short time!

    Like

  17. I love you. I love your honesty. I love your candidness and I love that you don't care one bit what anyone else thinks because it's you and your baby and that's ALL that matters. I'm so happy for you Josey. I mean really, really happy. You're a great mother and Stella is precious. i can't wait to hit you up for advice in the future if I ever get this lucky!!! 🙂

    Like

  18. I'm with you on this! Our co-sleeper serves as an expensive bed rail.

    Like

  19. Hold her as much and for as long as you possibly can! You don't get these moments back and they pass ever so quickly. xoxo

    Like

  20. Omg I loooove the pic of Stella asleep all curled up in the boppy! Too darn cute !

    Like

  21. […] it better. It’s fun to see how far we’ve come.  Partway through the month I wrote To Sleep or Not To Sleep – wherein you could tell I was finally finding my groove and happy about doing what felt right to […]

    Like

  22. Oh, your blog roundup came at just the right time! I so needed to hear this. I am going through this right now. Glad to know you were having the same issue!

    Like

    1. *hugs*

      I don’t think it’s so much of an issue as a REALITY for newborns and their Mommas. The line in this post that really stuck out to me was this: “I’m reading The Happiest Baby on the Block, and so far I really like it. He really stresses how these first few months YOU CANNOT SPOIL A BABY by holding her too much or by picking her up when she cries. She’s used to being held and fed 24/7 in your womb, so this world is a huge adjustment to say the least. Even if you’re holding her 12 hours a day right now, that feels like a 50% reduction to her – not like spoiling!”

      — It’s an adjustment for all of you!!

      Hang in there honey – it gets easier. Just trust your gut and roll with it!

      Like

Virtual Hugs (FYI - your comment may be held in moderation for me to approve if you have never commented here before - I try to approve as quickly as possible!)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: