The State of the Pink Parts and IT

So while I stress out about making other life changing decisions, let me talk about IT.

8 weeks…56 days…1,344 hours…80,640 minutes.

This evening, that will be how long it’s been since my hubby and I did it.
You know, IT.

The thing that barely ever results in a baby thing (unless you’re a careless teenager or one of my urban legend bloggie buddies) .

IT.

That thing that I’m honestly kind of afraid to do.
The thing that I sadly have no desire to do (damn BFing hormones).
That thing that my little baby is being used as a blocker to avoid.
But honey, she’s so cute all swaddled up like a burrito between us in bed!

IT.

Um, you know this is going to take some effort on your part right? It’s been so long, you’ll be a 2 minute man otherwise, and that is NOT okay if I’m letting you near these parts.

IT.

I haven’t had a visit from AF since March 15.
I haven’t had postpartum bleeding since five weeks ago.
All of my stitches have dissolved and I assume all is normal down there.
I have no excuse to avoid this any longer.

But IT scares the shit out of me.

Any advice for getting in the mood and over my fears (other than a bottle of wine and a bottle of lube)?

This has gotta happen sometime…

19 comments

  1. Yes, lube. I gave myself a deadline and stuck with it. Almost like a chore on my to-do list I just said "by the end of this week, it needs to get done". It honestly was not as bad as I thought it'd be (other than having a let-down immediately after! haha). I just felt like it needed to get done so that we'd be a couple and not just parents. FYI: I didn't get my desire back until 6 months when I started to get my fertility back as well. You'll probably need the lube for many, many months!

  2. We did IT 8 weeks after Blakely was born and it was not enjoyable. Slowly it has gotten better…thank goodness! It is so hard to get in the mood because I am so dang tired. I find that him giving me a massage helps this a lot! And LUBE LUBE LUBE….it's like a desert down there while breastfeeding! Good luck 🙂

  3. The ob gave us the all clear but the exam hurt…so I have some scar tissue issues and he said "use lots of lube, save your marriage and if it still hurts in a few weeks there is a procedure we can do" um, yeah, I'm running right out to try that now! Anyway, IT happened, I survived but not exactly fun! Guess it is going to take some more time to get IT back! Good luck?!?

  4. Yeah, I'd definitely look at it more like a chore to complete for his happiness, not something you're going to be in the mood for or really enjoy. :/Then if you do end up enjoying it, more power to ya! 🙂

  5. This doesnt help but be prepared it hurt.It gets better wthin a few months.Good luck!

  6. Lube is a must! And go slow, and laugh, and be patient, and love the baby crying in the background at the most inopportune time. Go get ya some! 🙂

  7. Good lord…I'm jealous….it's been almost a year for me and Babe…and well, I'm the one wanting to move forward and Babe is holding off…I'm hoping for valentine's day we can at least try…Hope you can get in the mood….and it's a pleasant experience for you….set it for Valentine's day…and have some champagne courage 🙂

  8. We waited until the Saturday after my 6 week clearance. We had just come back from a wedding and it was the first time I had anything to drink in FOREVER so I was drunk. And there was lube. Lots of lube. And it wasn't fun.Even now (16 pp) we start off with TLC. But it does get better. Really.

  9. I can't imagine how scared I would be. I haven't had sex in 13 weeks! HFS! I was way too scared during the first trimester because of all the spotting and I am still kinda scared. I am going to try IT this weekend! I hope IT goes well!

  10. I had a c-section and still haven't done "it" yet! Breastfeeding and fatigue have taken the front seat. Looking forward to reading these comments!

  11. Don't do it unless you're really in the mood and want it, otherwise it will not be fun, don't make it a chore… and don't worry, soon the hormones will do the opposite and things will go back to normal..HS

  12. Oh girl..no advice here of course. But I wish you luck and it sounds like you might want to invent in a wholesale club giant jar of lube 🙂 I'm sure like anything it will get easier with time. Just another thing us women have to deal/worry about while the hubbies are clueless 🙂

  13. Just make sure you got two things…Liquor and lube. And for me, it didn't hurt, it felt quite nice. But thanks to the fact I bled FOREVER we didn't do it until about 8 weeks.

  14. I'm 13 weeks out and still haven't tried….I'm just as scared. All I've heard is that it hurts. It also doesn't help that DH works nights so it's a complete job and work to try to find time to be together without a baby. 🙁 My goal is this week!

  15. I don't think I really enjoyed it until about 5-6 months postpartum, and then it's like my hormones just switched so that I didn't have to work quite so hard to get turned on. Before that the desire was just not there, though I could get around to the big O eventually :). And things are still tender in different places down there, so I just had to communicate well about what didn't feel good anymore.Biggest tip, though: there are lots of ways of satisfying each other without actual sex, and your first few times may just need to end with that. And my second biggest tip was that I pulled out those little squirt bottles of water from the hospital after the first few times when things were stinging down there, and they helped a lot.

  16. Also, if you're on top, you have more control of… I don't know, depth 🙂 But the longer you wait, the scarier it will get. And if you wait until you're in the mood, it could be a very very very VERY long time.

  17. yea, use the lube! And the wine! You'll need em. It's much better now that I have a cycle back but before that it was dry and weird and I had no drive whatsoever. Good luck, it's a bit…awkward.

  18. Forget the desire and just do it. Ain't gonna happen any other way. Think of it as a way to serve your husband and to take it SLOWLY, hurts like all heck. And like the other ladies said LUBE.

  19. I didn't think I'd have much of a problem, since mine was a C-Section… but apparently that 4 hours of pushing really affected me. We tried "IT" a couple of nights ago and it hurt like hell. I'm going to wait a few more weeks before attempting again.(However, after 2+ years of timed and multiple sexual "appointments", I'm totally ok with waiting a while… if you know what I mean.)

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