I was asked something like that this week by a girl I’m just getting to know. Her aunt is friends with my Mom back in MN, and when Jessie & her husband moved to the next town over last year and her aunt came to visit, she introduced us.
*insert humming* It’s a small world after all…
At any rate, she has a little boy who is 14 months old, and I stopped over to her house last Wednesday for a couple of hours to hang out and get to know her a little better. Stella had just gotten her HIB and Pc shots, so between the Tylenol and comfort nursing, she was pretty much in and out of naps the whole time, and Jessie’s little boy was nursing and napping as well. For the next couple of hours, the conversation pretty much revolved around our kiddos, parenting philosophies, and the like.
Honestly, I really enjoyed talking with someone who can has similar philosophies as myself who has “been there, done that” with her own child (and recently!). It’s good experience to learn from.
Then, as I was getting ready to go, she asked me that.
Well. Shit.
No? I hope not? Did I give you that impression?
I really feel like I don’t talk about Stella all that much in real life. Yes, she is the center of my world, but when we’re hanging out with our friends on a Friday night having dinner and drinks, we talk about anything and everything (95% of the time it’s NOT baby related), and I like it like that.
I guess that maybe it was easier(?) to talk about the kiddos during our first real, in depth, extended one-on-one conversation, but I admit, it’s not the best way to get to know more about each other as people, not just Moms. Before I had Stells, I honestly found it kind of boring when people wanted to talk about their kids non-stop. It still drives me bonkers when I’m chatting with a friend on the phone and the conversation is suddenly halted because her 2yo wants to say hi. Um, no, you’re holding the phone by their ear, they are smiling at you, and all I’m hearing is silence or a shy “hi” … and I’m just annoyed that I have to wait for you to get back on the phone.
Is that bad?
Shit. Ugh.
Anyway.
My point is that I really hope that I don’t become one of those mothers who is so focused on talking about the kiddo that she forgets how to talk about her own hopes, dreams, goals, and life. I think that will make me a better Mom in the long run.
What do you think? Do you find yourself only talking about your kid? Does it bother you, or do you just feel like you talk about what is the biggest part of your life right now? If you’re still TTC, does it bother you when people can only talk about their kids? Where is the balance?
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Check out Jessie’s blog if you get a chance – she’s a great writer, and I think you’ll enjoy her blog. 🙂
I think it totally depends on who I'm talking with. If it's a new mom, then yeah I talk about Nolan and being a mom more, if it's a teacher… I talk teacher shop, if its a random new person to base, I talk welcome to nebraska talk. I am so guilty of putting my mom on the phone with nolan, but in my defense, my mom loves to hear him babble to her though 🙂
I hate when parents do that 'phone' thing too. I just feel like I'm talking to myself while the kid just says, "umm", "I don't know" or "what". How annoying!
I feel a little awkward when people (especially at work) as me about Chloe. They always say "how is she" and my response is "she's great, growing too fast!" and I end it there. I mean do they really want me to go on and on about how she hasn't pooped for two days, spit up on me after just getting both of us dressed, can sit up now, plays with toys and so on and so on? I think a simple answer is all they are looking for and then we move on to adult convo. With a friend I'll go into a little more detail, but I'm like you in that convos on a Friday night with friends doesn't revolve around kids.
Ohhh, this post so hits a nerve with me! Mostly because I couldn't stand people who talked about their kids nonstop before I had kids and now I can't stand myself because I talk so much more about my girls than I ever thought I would (although I at least recognize it and can rein it in). I don't usually do it in groups and I purposely don't talk about kid stuff at work, but with girlfriends who have similarly aged kids…. it's SO hard not to!
I find it depends on who I am talking to.If it is someone who has a kid close to Avery's age, then sometimes it tends to go that way.But if it is anyone else then I think I balance it pretty well. Though my blog doesn't reflect that. I agree a satisfied mom makes a happy baby. It's especially important if you have a girl!I also believe wholeheartedly in my marriage comes first (obviously not if she is sick, etc), but overall date night continues, and I will always take my parents up on a sleepover offer!
At work, whenever someone asks me how Taylor's doing, I just say "she's great" and leave it at that. Sure, I'll show off a picture or two, but I don't start conversations about the tot.Same with my friends, I try not to talk baby too much. But face it, talking about kids was way boring before becoming a mom. Now I COULD talk about it for hours with someone who was willing to join in on the conversation.
I talk about my kid all the time. What, is she not that interesting?!?! ;)In all truth, though, I think it's pretty normal. We tend to get absorbed by whatever major life happening is going on at the time. I remember thinking, "before I was engaged what did I talk about?" because it felt like all I talked about and all anyone asked about was the wedding. The same was true during my pregnancy and the same is definitely true now that my baby is here. I try to keep it under control when I'm around people who aren't likely to be quite so interested. But I admit it – if I'm around another new mom I chatter on and on about the inane nothings of raising a baby.