I have had this thought bouncing around in my head for the past couple of weeks, and yesterday it finally came to a head. For what seemed like the millionth time that day, my husband was holding Stella during her happy, cooing, smiling time, and when she started crying, she got immediately handed off to me.
Don’t get me wrong – there have been times that I could not get her to settle down, and it was only Charlie’s singing and rocking that got her to sleep. He’s honestly wonderful with her.
BUT. Oh, the but. It seems like 95% of the time, the fussy baby goes to Mommy, while the happy baby goes to Daddy.
It’s my own fault really. In the beginning, a lot of it was because of the boob. She was hungry pretty frequently, so the crying was generally out of hunger. Daddy was great about changing the majority of the daytime diapers, but since the feedings fell to me, it just became habit. Baby cries –> she’s probably hungry –> give her to Mommy.
Now, her cries often mean she just wants to be held, jiggled, walked around, rocked, talked to, or whatever… but the fussy baby still gets handed to Mommy. On Friday night, Daddy went out from 7-10pm to hang out with his buddies… and when he got back, we traded spots and I headed out. By 11:30pm, I got a phone call that I needed to come home because she was having a breakdown. Well, UGH. I’ve been drinking, so I can’t feed her anyway (I’d left bottles in the fridge ready for him)… so what in the world do you want me to do that you can’t do?! I walked right home anyway because I felt bad for him, but it would sure be nice if I could go out for more than 90 minutes without worrying that Daddy is going to have a breakdown himself. Poor thing needs to learn how to handle Stella’s breakdowns by himself, as hard as they are to deal with. 🙁
Now that I wrote out that whole post, it’s been pissing rain and now it’s snowing, so Charlie couldn’t go to work today (they were supposed to set trusses). Instead of paying $40 for daycare while he sits home and watches TV, I told him Stella could just stay home with him. EEEK!! Nothing like a 9 hour crash course in handling your baby alone. *fingers crossed* that he realizes he CAN do this by himself (and that he respects a little more how much time and effort I put into keeping her happy when I’m home with her on my “days off”).
C’mon baby, you can do it! 🙂