Thoughts…

Things I wish I’d known about my Mom friends before I was one…

  • They often feel uncomfortable asking for babysitting help for a couple of hours.
    • When I was single, I really had no problem watching my friends’ kids in a pinch – I just rarely thought to offer. I need to learn how to not feel so uncomfortable asking for help when I need it and remember that they’ll say no if they can’t/don’t want to!
  • Dinner and drinks at their house so they can keep hanging out after the kiddo’s bedtime? Yes please!
    • I always appreciate our friends without kids now who offer to hang out at our place instead of going out or to their place so that BOTH my husband and I can continue to be part of the gathering, instead of one/both of us having to head home with the baby. I really didn’t realize before how hard it is to do anything past 7pm with your spouse and friends when you have a kid and can’t afford a babysitter.
  • They like talking about things other than their kids.
    • I have interests other than raising my child – just start the convo and I’ll gladly participate once I remember what they are. πŸ™‚
  • They love talking about their kids.Β 
    • Yeah, I know I just said they like talking about other things, but when so much of your life is wrapped up in this little person, it truly is amazing when they say a new word or show off a new skill. Oooh and ahh and shower that kid with affection… then go back to the previous point, and we’ll all be happy!
  • They still love to go out and do a spin class, grab a coffee, drink a beer, or whatever. Don’t quit inviting them because they have a kid.
    • This seems obvious, but I know when I was childless, I often didn’t call my Mom friends because I (rightly) figured they were busy with their kid(s). However, that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t appreciate the invite, and heck, maybe Dad or someone will take over for awhile so that Mom can get out!
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10 comments

  1. Excellent points!

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  2. I love this post and think it should be shared with all!!! So so true on every point!! πŸ™‚

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  3. So true!

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  4. Good points πŸ™‚ I def agree πŸ˜‰

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  5. This is a great list. In particular, that people like talking about other things besides their kids! Although, I admit to having a hard time doing this. The one that rang true the most though? Don’t stop inviting people to do things because they have kids. YES! HGB is in bed by 7:30… I can meet you at the bar! PLEASE INVITE ME. πŸ™‚

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  6. Good one

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  7. True! I really enjoyed keeping my friends’ kids, even some overnight babysitting. I am going to try this new year to not be so overprotective and leave H with more friends and family, easier said than done?!? Good points!

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  8. I am TERRIBLE about asking for help. I have local friend who’ve offered to take Arlo one morning a week next year post-#2, and I just…say thanks. My ILs are desperate to help and to take solo time with Arlo (and they’re amazing, supportive, appropriate, reliable) and yet…I seldom take them up on these offers. Much of this has to do with how I was raised–any help or favor granted was always a debt of a never-quite-paid-off sort, so I just learned to do it all myself, for better or for worse. I neeeeed to work on this.

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  9. Man. I may send out an email soon about things along these lines that I’d like to feel you ladies out on but don’t want to post about publicly. “Friends without kids/friends with kids” is a tricky balance sometimes.

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