This is my contribution to PAIL’s Monthly Theme post topic for January, “Where Do Babies Come From?” Click here to join in!
Wow, so I really am not sure where to start this. I have thought about it a little bit, but not a lot – I guess because the ALI journey has become such an integral part of me and of our journey to parenthood that I had sort of forgotten it might need (deserve) a little extra explanation some day.
To start with, I was one of the kickstarter people that invested last fall in the making of What Makes a Baby, so I already have an advance copy at home. If you don’t know what kickstarter is, check it out. Their tagline is “a funding platform for creative projects,” and I love the work they do!
Geared to readers from preschool to age eight, What Makes a Baby is a book for every kind of family and every kind of kid. It is a twenty-first century children’s picture book about conception, gestation, and birth, which reflects the reality of our modern time by being inclusive of all kinds of kids, adults, and families, regardless of how many people were involved, their orientation, gender and other identity, or family composition. Just as important, the story doesn’t gender people or body parts, so most parents and families will find that it leaves room for them to educate their child without having to erase their own experience.
Sounds like a pretty great book, right? I 100% plan on using this as a resource someday when Stella asks the whole “where did I come from” question.
Other than that? Well shit… I’m just not sure.
I do know this:
- I most definitely plan on letting Stella know that it was an extra special, hard road to bring her into our lives, though I’m not sure when it’s good to bring that part up. Since she’s a girl, I’m thinking around the time of puberty, when we’re already discussing things like menstrual cycles and why women’s bodies change.
- However, I have nothing against discussing the ALI journey with her earlier if she’s curious about those things – I really hope the book I linked to above is a great resource for this particular conversation about how babies are made and come to their forever families in a myriad of ways!
- I want Stella to understand her body better than I did pre-TTC. I want her to understand why her CM changes throughout her cycle. I want to her get why it’s important to get help if her cycles are highly irregular as she gets older. I want her to be her own best fertility advocate if she wants children someday.
- I think it’s important for her to know that it’s not easy for everyone to have kids, and though I don’t want to scare her about that particular reality, I do hope to educate her about it in order to help her be more sensitive to the issue. I truly hope that my child will never be the one quizzing a friend about “when are you going to have kids already?”
Other than that, my current plan is to wing it, in the most honest, up-front way possible. Honesty is the best policy, right? 🙂
*ETA – I totally forgot about a couple of other GREAT books that I will be referencing. Where Do Babies Come From? (because though it’s old fashioned and doesn’t deal situations outside of Mommy+Daddy in bed, I do love that it uses proper terminology and easy to understand descriptions) and Taking Charge of Your Fertility (the holy grail of all books that EVERY woman should read when she gets her first menses).