Up. Down. Up. Down.
That’s what my heart has been doing lately. We have been vacillating between the some great highs but also a really sad low in our house lately, and it’s hard to even put together a coherent post about it all. Here are the high points…
- The lowest of lows: Axel. This little boy was a daycare playmate of Stella’s (in a home daycare here in town – only 3 kids – so we knew him well). Shock. Horror. Tragedy. Words cannot adequately describe this situation that got worse and worse as more details unfolded. His memorial is tonight… I still haven’t decided if I can/will go or not. It’s just so awful. This has overshadowed everything in our lives for the past 11 days.
- A great high: SCS. First off, please forgive the half finished website. I guess it’s time to kick that up the priority list! This is Charlie’s new company (which he started one year ago this month). He’s been working in construction and/or concrete for the past decade, and he decided awhile back that he really wanted to go out on his own. Last spring we started the company, took out the loan, bought the equipment, and he started bidding jobs while he continued to work for another local contractor. Last weekend all the hard work paid off, and he got his first job that was enough work to quit his current job for! It’s at least three, but most likely six weeks worth of work, during which he’ll be doing his damndest to get more jobs to follow it up with. Eek! It’s scary — and exciting — all at the same time. My monthly wages don’t even cover the mortgage, so this is a big step for us, but with great risk comes great reward, right? Charlie loves what he does, and he’s great at it, so fingers crossed that this will be a great new opportunity for our family.
- A mixed blessing: Almost exactly two years ago I wrote this post hoping that it would be my last CD1 for 40 weeks. Little did I know that I would eventually get to the point that I actually started worrying that my body had completely forgotten how to work at all when it didn’t come back. Last week I bought a massive pack of cheapie ovulation and HPT sticks (like any good PCOSer would) in hopes of needing them someday to at least appease my mind that I was not pregnant, even though I wasn’t getting AF. Then the very next day I got a message from a fellow IF blogger that she had thrown three boxes of the quality yes/no version OPKs in the mail for me as well. As of yesterday, I am stocked up in OPKs and HPTs. Nature then laughed at me, today at work I started feeling like dog shit, and I promptly realized that tampons were all I needed for the time being. Too bad I only had leftover postpartum pads on hand. 😛
When I stopped home over my lunch break for a minute to grab said pad, I got to hang out with this little girl (who promptly crawled into my lap and stole the rest of my turkey wrap). Looking over the recent highs and lows in our lives, it is more apparent than ever that as long as she is in our lives, we will be okay.