Emotions Running High on the Pale Blue Dot

Three years ago today, I wrote this post about us all living on the pale blue dot.
Watch the video; you’ll be happy you did.

It’s an exercise in reality to read back through that post now – time really does keep moving on, and all of the stress we continually put on ourselves – it’s pointless.

Three years ago, I was mourning the 10 year anniversary of the loss of my cousin. He also happened to be my best friend and an amazing guy — not to mention he left behind a 1 month old baby girl when he unexpectedly died. Now it has been 13 years, and that just astounds me. His child is a teenager, and he is still gone. I still miss him, but I rarely cry about him. Healing – it’s where it’s at. I love you, Adam.

Three years ago, I was stressing about finishing the remodel of our new house in time. Now, I enjoy cooking in that remodeled space every day. We finished it in time and under budget, and it is hands down the best project to have taken on and completed before moving in all those years ago. I can now cook in the kitchen while I watch Stella playing in the living room and Charlie working on the back deck. It’s perfect.

Three years ago, I was struggling to get pregnant and worried about the lack of intimacy in our marriage because of the stress of TTC. Now I have a toddler in my house and a marriage that is stronger than it has been since we got married. Sure, we are now worried about TTC#2, but it is not the same stress as worrying if we will EVER get a chance to parent. We are parents. Also, I am no longer as worried about our marriage. We still have fights – we still get mad about things – but we have also gotten WAY better about communicating and respecting one another. Love and respect go a long way in a marriage. I truly think we will be okay.

Three years ago, I was stressed about money.  Today, I am still stressed about money, but I am working hard on remembering that I need to let that stress go. I have come to a crossroads at my current job – I like it, and my boss is great to me, but I don’t make enough money, and we need to be able to pay the bills. This morning I was offered a new job at a new company – and at some point in the next 24 hours, I need to get the guts to talk to my current boss about everything and ask for a huge ass raise if he wants me to stay. If not, I think I have to leave. I have to provide for my family.

But you know what? Whatever decision I make, it will be okay.

We are all here together on the pale blue dot.

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10 comments

  1. I haven’t watched the video yet so I will comment on that in a moment but wanted to comment firstly on your post. It is amazing how much has happened in these past 3 years and how everything has turned out okay, even if there were worrying times inbetween. I am so glad you and Charlie are now where you are in your marriage, in your home and your life as parents. And I know this job thing is going to be a touch decision but a huge congrats on the job offer and I know it will work out whichever way it goes. A lovely positive post! 🙂 Now I must watch the video!!

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  2. I have only watched the first half of the video, but it definetly puts things in perspective.

    I agree, I need to let things go, they are so small in the realm of everything.

    I’m sorry about your cousin that must have been hard to go through.

    Good luck on your job, sometimes no matter how much you love your current company, job, boss, coworkers, etc; if there is a deal-breaker in the mix, you have to leave. And money isn’t everything, but it is important.

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  3. I haven’t watched the video either, but still wanted to comment.

    Gosh, I remember you posting about the house remodel. Just reading it written out that way seems forever ago and I had to stop and think, have I been following you that long?? Crazy how time flies! Hope the offer was what you were looking for and get the perfect deal from either side – current job or new job!

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  4. mcmissis · · Reply

    I watched the video and had an odd reaction to it. Maybe I’ll write a post about it, probably not haha 🙂

    I’m glad you can look back on the anniversary of your cousin’s death with warm memories and not be riddled with sadness. I bet you wish Charlie had met him. I wish McMister could have known my grandmother all the time.

    Congratulations on the job offer! It must feel great even just to be asked in such a small community where you live. I hope your boss is able to give you the money you need, but I’m sure if you end up leaving, you’ll find different reasons to be happy in your new spot.

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    1. mcmissis · · Reply

      PS I finally linked an email address to my account like you’ve been suggesting for ages 🙂

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    2. I’m curious what that reaction was! Write a post, pretty please!

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      1. OK I posted on it, but only because you asked! 🙂 http://mcmissis.blogspot.com/2013/04/a-different-perspective.html

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  5. I’m going to check out the video this weekend, but in the meantime – CONGRATS on the job offer! What a great position to be in!

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  6. I’m sorry about the loss of your cousin. I lost a cousin/best friend when I was much younger and I miss her dearly. Healing, it is indeed where it’s at.

    It’s amazing to look back just 3 short years ago and see where you were. Makes you wonder where you’ll be in 3 more years… I just looked back and see that my first appointment with my RE was April 15, 2010, so a tad over 3 years ago. Seems amazing. And like a blessing that it’s been “only” three years since then. And to have your relationship be in a better place is another blessing – one that surely took work to achieve.

    Congrats on the job offer. I know it’s so hard to upset the status quo, especially when it feels like things in general are just clicking along, but something better for the family (and also for you!!!) is important too. I hope that it all works out as you want.

    (And I’m at work, so I haven’t watched the video, but I have to agree – the worrying and stress really is pointless. Best to live in the moment if we can manage it.)

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  7. First of all, I’m so sorry about the loss of your cousin. My heart breaks for his little girl, who is no longer a little girl, I suppose.

    Isn’t it amazing to look back on where you were a few years ago and to be so grateful for where your path has gone? I know that doing that helps me to have faith that the things that stress me out now will no longer be such a big deal in a few years. It’s good to have that reassurance.

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