Three years ago today, I wrote this post about us all living on the pale blue dot.
Watch the video; you’ll be happy you did.
It’s an exercise in reality to read back through that post now – time really does keep moving on, and all of the stress we continually put on ourselves – it’s pointless.
Three years ago, I was mourning the 10 year anniversary of the loss of my cousin. He also happened to be my best friend and an amazing guy — not to mention he left behind a 1 month old baby girl when he unexpectedly died. Now it has been 13 years, and that just astounds me. His child is a teenager, and he is still gone. I still miss him, but I rarely cry about him. Healing – it’s where it’s at. I love you, Adam.
Three years ago, I was stressing about finishing the remodel of our new house in time. Now, I enjoy cooking in that remodeled space every day. We finished it in time and under budget, and it is hands down the best project to have taken on and completed before moving in all those years ago. I can now cook in the kitchen while I watch Stella playing in the living room and Charlie working on the back deck. It’s perfect.
Three years ago, I was struggling to get pregnant and worried about the lack of intimacy in our marriage because of the stress of TTC. Now I have a toddler in my house and a marriage that is stronger than it has been since we got married. Sure, we are now worried about TTC#2, but it is not the same stress as worrying if we will EVER get a chance to parent. We are parents. Also, I am no longer as worried about our marriage. We still have fights – we still get mad about things – but we have also gotten WAY better about communicating and respecting one another. Love and respect go a long way in a marriage. I truly think we will be okay.
Three years ago, I was stressed about money. Today, I am still stressed about money, but I am working hard on remembering that I need to let that stress go. I have come to a crossroads at my current job – I like it, and my boss is great to me, but I don’t make enough money, and we need to be able to pay the bills. This morning I was offered a new job at a new company – and at some point in the next 24 hours, I need to get the guts to talk to my current boss about everything and ask for a huge ass raise if he wants me to stay. If not, I think I have to leave. I have to provide for my family.
But you know what? Whatever decision I make, it will be okay.
We are all here together on the pale blue dot.