We usually celebrate the firsts that our children go through, but often times we forget about the lasts. I’d guess that’s probably because we simply don’t realize that what we’re witnessing will be a last. We often don’t get to laugh the last time they use a funny made up word before figuring out how to say it correctly…smile at our baby the last time they crawl instead of walk like a toddler…or drink in the sight and feel of the last time time they nurse.
I’ll write an entire post about this soon, but on Friday I spent an hour and a half at the acupuncturist trying to get some relief from this incessant nausea, and by the end of that appointment I had decided that it was time for Stella to be weaned. I’m absolutely exhausted, touched out, and struggling to make it through the day, and something had to give.
As a result, the last time Stella nursed was either Wednesday night or Thursday morning – I don’t even remember which! She spent Thursday-Saturday morning with her grandparents while Charlie and I were resting and trying to feel better, and since then I’ve been telling her that Momma’s milk is “all gone.”
It hurts my heart to be done, but it was necessary for us at this moment in time. I just wish I’d have realized our last time was going to be our last.
The final picture I took of her nursing – this was May 15th, the week that she was so sick as well. Lots of comfort nursing that week, even with sunglasses on. 😉
*****
This is part of a weekly feature called The Monday Snapshot over at PAIL. Click here to see everyone else’s contributions this week and to learn a little more about this week’s featured blogger!
I read something a year ago similar to this, about missing the “lasts”, and it made me (and still makes me) so sad 🙁
On a MUCH happier note, CONGRATULATIONS on making it so long nursing!!! That is amazing.
That is such an awesome picture for so many reasons. So sad to see that chapter come to a close but it’s wonderful you made it so long. Hope you start feeling better soon!
Ah girl…I would hug you but I don’t want to hurt your boobs or make you puke on me. 🙂
It’s funny… I wrote a similar post about a year ago, and I can’t remember the last time HGB nursed either. The lasts, they just slip away from us. But they turn into glorious new firsts we can hardly imagine.
This photo is perfect. Just perfect. <3
So sad to think about! I’ve been thinking about weaning a lot these days, not because I’m ready to wean but because somehow the one year mark coming up means it’s time to start thinking about it.
I can only hope that like you one day it will just be “time” and I’ll know it.
I hope you get some relief from your nausea soon!
Big big hugs to you! You have done such an amazing thing nursing Stella this long.. from the nursing on demand in the beginning, then the pumping you were doing at work, then through the beginning of this pregnancy… you should be so proud. This post hits home because I know our time is coming to an end soon too. I was thinking just yesterday how crazy it is that I have done this every single day for 16 1/2 months. I am feeling more and more like that time is coming to an end and I think Lids is too. She’s so busy with life and exploring. She doesn’t NEED it anymore. She needs me, but not in that way. I am sure it is the same for Stella. I hope you are both taking it as well as can be expected. What a special journey you have shared together and so many special memories 🙂 Congrats on 17 1/2 months well done!!
Beautiful photo!!
We want our children to progress and develop so desperately sometimes that the lasts just slip by us. I am so impressed that you nursed for so long.
BTW… I’m very late to this party, but congrats on baby #2. I’ve been a pitiful blogger of late, but I’m trying to get back into the swing of things. I was super stoked when I clicked over this afternoon and did a bit of catch up reading. So happy for you!
Great pic! Love her shades! 🙂
I love this pic. Stella looks uber cool in those glasses! I thought you had finished BF for some reason so I am sorry it is time to give up. Be kind to yourself. In 9 months time (or thereabouts) those boobies are back to work xx
Whenever someone weans their baby, I go back and re-read my weaning post. I cry every time I read it. I just finished it again and I had fat tears rolling down my face. I knew exactly when the last time would be, planned for it, savored it, blogged about it, and I still cry when I think about it. It’s so hard – and I think it’s harder on us than it is on them.
Weaning is so hard – – I think harder on us than on them. We weaned Lexi at 14 months due to my lack of supply (likely because of the pregnancy) and it being so painful because she was changing the way she latched trying to get more milk that just wasn’t there. That was 2 months ago and it still makes me sad. She will still ask for it now and then and it breaks my heart each time to tell her mommy’s milk is all done.
Hope you start feeling better soon!
Congrats on such a successful b-fing journey!
This is a beautiful picture. I’ve found myself taking lots of nursing pictures lately, partly because I always wonder if it will be the last time. Hope the all-day nausea passes soon.
Okay, okay. 1.) She is PRECIOUS. Nursing with sunglasses is so posh. 2.) CONGRATU-FING-LATIONS! I’ve been so consumed with my own self(ishness) that I’ve neglected blogs and missed that you are expecting #2! That is so amazing. 3.) I remember when J was super close (days) to weaning, I thought, “I must remember this.” And I do. We were lying together on the couch after nap, he was nursing in the darkness of a late spring morning, and I thought to myself, “Never again with this sweet nursling.” I cherish that memory. <3
huge hugs. it’s hard, the end of the nursing, so so hard. you guys had a great nursing relationship that lasted 18 months, right? Awesome job, mama! I really hope you start feeling better soon. First trimester sucks ass.
Lovely picture of a beautiful moment. I can only imagine how bittersweet it is to have had this last moment with Stella – but perhaps it was for the best that you didn’t know that the last time was the last time, so you could just focus on the moment without thinking too much about the significance of its “lastness.”
And as others have said, congratulations on such a long and successful breastfeeding relationship!
I was just thinking last night about how I wish I had a “last time” to savor. When we were done we were just done, and there was no room for lingering. Sounds similar.
Wow, this brought back so many memories of that last few times I nursed Harriet. I also decided after the fact that a certain nursing was going to be our last. And while I wish I would have savored it more, I also think it would have been WAY too painful to go through knowing we’d never do it again.
[…] post entitled the body about my eating disorder issues and trying to have a good body image, and I nursed Stella for the last time. SO […]
Yes, yes, yes! It’s the lasts that I ‘worry’ about. I have many lovely photos of myself as I’m breastfeeding. I cherish them.
Lovely photo. Such a doll in those glasses!