The Monday Snapshot – Rock Bottom

Well, I’m sorry that all of my posts lately are so whiny and “woe is me,” but for real dudes, I am barely hanging in there. Last weekend was absolutely horrid. I’m talking puking non stop from 3pm-midnight on Saturday kind of horrid. I keep losing weight and I feel like the dirty piece of bubblegum on the bottom of your shoe – trying to stick in there and be somewhat effective, but really just wanting to give up and let go because I feel like such a dirty piece of crap. I’m a mess, y’all.

Nana and Papa took Stella again from Saturday afternoon – Monday morning so that I could try to get some rest. I’m trying not to feel like a failure at everything right now, but it’s not going so well…

Here’s what my bedside looked like this morning:

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I’m at work right now, but I think I’m going home in a bit here. I just want to curl up in a ball and die. I don’t know how the hell people do this their entire pregnancies. I’m just praying that I’m feeling better soon, but in the meantime I’m just not sure how to keep existing.

*****

This is part of a weekly feature called The Monday Snapshot over at PAIL. Click here to see everyone else’s contributions this week and to learn a little more about this week’s featured blogger!

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32 comments

  1. mcmissis · · Reply

    I’m so sorry 😦 Rock bottom is a very scary subject line. I’ve been thinking about a lot these past few weeks and truly hope you start to feel better soon. Immediately. Like yesterday! Good luck.

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    1. Sorry – I didn’t think about the title being scary! I was more referencing how I felt on Saturday afternoon as I sat in the shower, sobbing, puking on myself. I hit this point with Stella too, and it was awful, but I honestly think it’s worse this time around. *sigh*

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  2. lparsons15 · · Reply

    It really sounds like you have HG! My friend had it and spent time in the hospital for nutrition and fluids..SO scary! I really hope you start to feel better ASAP!

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  3. Oh, this is so sad. It sounds similar to Stella, but the guilt associated with not being able to take care of your toddler must make it so much worse. I hope you begin feeling better soon.

    When I had these issues, there was nothing that made it better. Slowly it got a bit better as time went on, but some days were just terrible. I hope this turns around soon for you.

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  4. Oh honey…I can’t imagine. I’m feeling your pain as the puking has returned since getting over my cold. At this point I’d gladly take my cough and inability to breathe back in a heart beat. I wish there was something I could do, but from my own experience the only thing that helps me is sleep and I haven’t been getting any of that lately. Here’s hoping this turns around soon…only a few more weeks until 2nd tri…and hopefully a light at the end of your tunnel….

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  5. My heart is so very very sad for you and I just wish there was something I could do or something out there that could help even in the slightest. I can’t imagine a bit of morning sickness, nevermind what you are dealing with. I am so so sorry you are dealing with this and hope it ends very soon!!!

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  6. kel24 · · Reply

    I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I was sick 6-18 weeks with all 3 of my kids. Lost weight until it passed. It seems to peak 8-9 weeks and slowly improve after that. I went to the hospital twice at 9 wks last time for meds and IV fluids.

    Are you on Zofran? Phenergan? B6 and Unisom? I had to alternate all 3 and I was still vomiting, just less. Also cold drinks (not water but frozen drinks) seemed to help. I feel like we just have to live through it day by day and it just SUCKS. Hang in there.

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  7. theurbanjunglegym · · Reply

    Ugh, no fun 😦 And I thought my hour or two of nausea a day was bad. It definitely sounds like HG. Can your doctors do anything more to help?

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  8. Jennifer · · Reply

    I really, really feel for you. I had nasty morning sickness my first pregnancy, and I think I still have a bit of post-traumatic stress from it. We’d really like to get pregnant again (that part being the first hurdle of course) but I may have to stop reading your blog, because it being even worse simply terrifies me.

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    1. I totally understand this. 😦 This kiddo will definitely be birth control for us – I am done after this no matter what. I know it will be worth it, but damn, this is hard. 😦

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  9. I’m so sorry, i hope things improve drastically from here. hang in there, one day at a time, you’ll get there.

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  10. Miss Mac · · Reply

    No fun, ugh:[ So sorry and wish I had some advice to offer. Hopefully the worst is behind you and each day will get better. Try to stay hydrated!

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  11. Ok, I hope this works, comments via my phone never work (hence the lack of commenting since the twins were born…). I just had to say that you should consider pushing the Hyperemesis discussion with your midwife. This shit is for real and you know I was out of commission. It sounds so similar. How much weight have you lost? I don’t think the diagnosis of it really matters as long as you’re treated. You might need IV fluids and especially nutrients, plus they can do IV nausea meds or a pump that get it in more effectively. Hopefully you will wake up tomorrow with magical feelings of bliss and maybe some of those glorious pregnancy unicorns and rainbows everyone talks about, but just in case, start the discussion about it for real. I lost too much weight not being treated quickly enough and I was treated really early. Thinking about you, mama!!!

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    1. I’ve lost about 5# in the past 3 weeks. Just feeling so horrid. 😦 Might ask my boss if he can give me some IV fluids today. *sigh*

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      1. It’s awesome you have a boss who can give you IV fluids. I’ve had mornings in the past where that would have come in very handy 😉

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  12. Omigosh please take care and get better!

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  13. Ugh! So so sorry! Rock bottom is a terrible place to be, but I hope this really is the bottom and that it only goes up (and quickly!) from here!

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  14. I’m sorry you feel so bad … it sounds (and looks!) very miserable. Keep taking good care of yourself, and let others help as much as they can. Sending lots of stop-puking thoughts your way!

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  15. Oh no! I hope this is just temporary. You sound absolutely miserable. 😦 the entire time I felt so bad during my first trimester I just kept wondering how those with kids do it! Glad your getting a little help with Stella! Hang in there! I hope you have the best 2nd and third trimester ever!

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  16. Elizabeth · · Reply

    Oh man that is just awful. So sorry you are deal with this and I hope the end is near for this sickness. Just awful. Feel better Momma!

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  17. So sorry you are feeling bad. Check this out, it’s worth a shot! http://www.mommypotamus.com/the-real-cause-of-morning-sickness/

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  18. Sorry to hear that you’re feeling so sick. I know there’s nothing I can do, but I’m praying for the end of your massive morning sickness.

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  19. This just sounds awful. I’m so sorry the morning sickness is taking such a toll. Don’t worry about the “shoulds” and “woulds” during this time. Just focus on getting through and taking as good care of yourself as you can.

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  20. There is nothing worse. Being grateful that things are happening, but feeling so so so so miserable really takes a toll. I hope you get better soon, and this is a distant memory….

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  21. Iveta · · Reply

    Have no advice….just to keep your eye on the prize. You can do this and you will. Throwing up non stop sucks. One hour at a time….do what you can to rest. Thinking of you

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  22. Awww you are NOT a failure. You are an awesome momma! And you are doing your best with this new pregnancy! Praying you feel better soon and this pregnancy yuckiness takes a hike!!! Hang in there xoxo

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  23. Heather · · Reply

    I don’t have any advice either, just know that I’ve been there (with Aiden and now with #2) and am STILL there (throwing up 2-3 times a week and 24 weeks). The nausea should hopefully get better or ease up a little soon. I’ll say a pray for you that it stops sooner than later! Being sick constantly is SO difficult, especially with a toddler running around. Thinking of you!

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  24. This SUCKS. I’m so sorry. i really hope that it is rock bottom and that things start to improve soon so that you can enjoy this pregnancy. 😦

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  25. I’m so sorry Josey! I was really hoping you’d be past this part by now (I’m sure you feel the same way)!! How about we focus on…YAY YOU ARE PREGNANT!! YAY!!!! Does that help? No? Sorry kid. Praying for you that it lets up soon! Hugs!

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  26. I’m so sorry! I am not nearly as sick as you (puking some but not that much) but I feel like crap most of every single day and am so SAD about it…just feeling so down…all I can really do is carry on…there’s just not much enjoyment in anything right now. Not to make this about me, but just wanted you to know I get it. Hope you start to feel better soon…

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    1. How far along are you?!

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  27. I have been thinking about you often. I’m so sorry that it’s been so tough. Hoping and praying that you start to feel like yourself again soon.

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