My world has been filled with scads of good reproductive news lately from friends and family who have struggled with the ALI journey, and it’a making me burst at the seams with optimism and hope. It’s not all of my news to share yet, and there is lots of praying going on in my life, but I can share this latest news, and *GOOSEBUMPS* it’s good.
Most of you probably remember when I wrote last March about my grief surrounding the horrible murder of one of Stella’s daycare playmates. His parents have spent the last 8 months trying to do something amazing with his memory.
[Timely Christmas plug here – if you’re looking into getting a Strider balance bike for your toddler for Christmas, please order through the Axel Project! We bought Stella one last summer at 18mo old, and she LOVES it!]
At any rate, the Axel Project has a Facebook page that I’ve liked, and last night a new post came up from the Dad that I clicked over to read entitled Life is a rollercoaster. Shortly after that I saw a post come up written by his Mom over on her blog, Velo Mom, entitled Do you believe in Miracles?
If you didn’t click over, I’ll save you the suspense. After Axel died, they looked into trying to get pregnant again, but at 40 years old and after a tubal ligation following the birth of Axel, it didn’t seem possible, financially, emotionally, or any way!
Then at the end of September I started to feel very off. I was tired all the time and after awhile I realized I never had a period. A few Google searches and I thought I knew the answer – pre menopause – how depressing. A few days later I find a pregnancy test in a drawer. I decide to try it since my doctor always warned me about the seriousness of a tubal pregnancy. Although tubals are 99% effective there is that 1% chance you can get pregnant and within that 1% chance is a 60% chance that the fertilized egg gets stuck in your tubes. Which is deadly. Then there is my age, the stress on my body over the past year etc…How could I possibly be pregnant? Menopause, even at 40, seemed more believable.
I’m sure you can see where this is heading, right?
That’s right, she is pregnant again, with a growing, healthy little boy.
If I try really hard there may be a purely scientific reason why I am pregnant. It’s possible, I mean I am not claiming to be Mary and it was not an immaculate conception. But deep down I know this can’t be fully explained using intellect. And maybe there doesn’t ever need to be an explanation.
Maybe it’s a gift from Axel, maybe it’s a gift from God, maybe it’s a part of Axel’s soul wanting to come back, and maybe it was just pure chance.
Chills, right? This family has been through SO MUCH in the past year, and my heart is just overflowing with joy for them. God is amazing.
On a random sort of similar note, ever since I got pregnant I’ve been looking at my header picture above and thinking about how this was so “meant to be.” While we were deep into the TTC world, I booked a phone session with a quantum healer (named Mas) who was absolutely amazing. What I didn’t mention in that post was that my Mom had also talked with him about some of her issues, and while they talked, I came up. He told her something along the lines of “she’ll be okay, they’re struggling now, but I see her with 2 kids.”
That comment has always stuck with me, and even when Charlie and I had decided against doing fertility treatments again, part of me always believed we’d have a second child, because Mas said so.
I know the picture above is just a random picture I took of Stella’s diapers out on the line, but once I got pregnant, I liked the symbolism of the stereotypical blue onesie and pink dress that are book-ending the diapers… because even though they were obviously both Stella’s clothing items at the time, it’s almost like I was looking at a glimpse into my future of the little boy & girl that I would be blessed to have in my life.
The Lord works in mysterious ways.
Love love love all of this!! Goosebumps again and this is the second time I read Axel’s families’ news. So happy for them. And so happy for you that your family that was meant to be will soon be complete 🙂
Your will be too, lady!! I have faith that it will happen for you. ((HUGS))
Wow, that’s some amazing business. So glad to hear some good news for that family. 🙂
I love this story! Also, I have been meaning to tell you FOREVER that when you first changed your header I thought you were hinting at the fact you were pregnant with a boy 🙂
Love, love this post !!
WOW, what an amazing story….thanks for sharing. That is truly incredible.
That is so awesome to hear! Even though your friend doesn’t know me, and you and I have never met, we’re all mothers, so please tell her congratulations from one mother to another. I remember when you first posted their story and I was just sick to my stomach about what had happened. I nearly couldn’t read it for all the horrific mental imagery that came up. So I’m overjoyed that some sunshine is coming to their lives. Again, tell her congratulations from me.
When we were in Sonoma, we saw a tarot card reader who told us that the thing we were wishing for was going to happen soon, probably sooner than we expected. That’s the trip where I got pregnant with Sofia! I fully believe that there are people in this world who are a little more attuned than the rest of us and can feel these things. I just might make a call to your friend Mas. 🙂
Your header DID call out to me too a couple of months ago, after the announcement of baby boy. I wondered if it was a new photo after you found out because I think you might have updated a FB cover photo or something after you found out, but then I looked more closely and nope, it was the same old photo, so your subconscious knew a long time ago when you were pinning up those clothes! Amazing.
So very happy for Axel’s family. I think we are going to get Ever a Strider through the Axel project for Christmas! She’s walking now, and Mark had thought of that idea separate from this post, so it all is clicking together. He cannot wait to get her riding!
It’s funny how I knew in my heart and dreams that my baby was a girl! I mean I had hoped, but I think there is things that we just know on a totally different level that is not part of this earthly world. Some things are just unexplainable, and miracles.
This gave me chills and happy tears!
Oh my- tears and goosebumps! What an AMAZING story. Yes, miracles definitely happen. I am thrilled for their family- and your little miracle family of four too!
I clicked over and read the post from Axel’s mom and the tears just started coming….I read their story back in March and randomly would check in. What amazing, wonderful news.
After my first 2 were born (male factor issues), then 2 losses, I had a reading and was told I would have a third and he would be a boy….and he is almost 19 months now. That has always stayed with me.
I am so excited for you Josey! And I think it’s awesome we are due so close together and have alot of birth ideas in common. Oh and I cloth diaper too 🙂