Well, as I wrote yesterday, I’ve been struggling with a few feelings lately that are kind of driving me nuts. Namely, feeling under pressure (from myself) about wanting everything to go perfectly this time – NOT because I’m in denial that every birthing time is different and that I need to willing and able to go with the flow, but more because of what my friend Em so perfectly expressed in her comment yesterday:
Thanks so much for talking about both the ups and downs of home birth. It’s a controversial (but great) choice and so I think that sometimes my friends who choose home birth don’t feel comfortable being vulnerable about the downsides of it. They don’t want people to jump on those doubts/fears/concerns and tell them that they’re making a poor decision. So again, thanks for being so open about all of this. I think it makes women who choose home birth seem less like heroes and more like…women. Which is good for all of us…especially those choosing home birth. Perhaps if the existing stigmas are lessened somewhat by women being open about it, that pressure you’re feeling now won’t be felt as strongly by women who come after you.
So that’s something I’m working on, and I feel about a million times better just by having written it out yesterday, so thank you for reading and commenting!
As for other pregnancy thoughts/news, there’s not much happening. My belly is continuing to grow, though I’m still struggling with weight gain (which is, repeat with me, SO WEIRD). After losing weight last week, I made a concerted effort to eat and drink as much as I could stand all week (which I know still isn’t a ton – I just feel so FULL all the time) and gained a whopping .5#, so I’m up about 16# to 176.7# – the same weight I was at 4wks ago. *sigh* My midwife isn’t worried b/c my belly is continuing to grow appropriately – he just warned that it will result in me feeling run down as my body takes nutrients for the baby, so I need to concentrate on continuing to eat nutritiously as often as possible. I also got a lecture about not working out enough, and he said the best thing he could have…
We attended a birth last Friday for a first time Mom. Everything went great, but she did comment afterwards that she was surprised but what HARD WORK it was. Make sure you don’t regret not focusing on getting your body strong for this delivery, Josey!
I actually remember thinking last time something like “MAN this is hard – I wish my legs were stronger!” — so ya, I’m back on the work out wagon, at least for strength exercises (squats) and more walking/elliptical exercise for endurance reasons.
So yep, there’s the plan. This baby will be considered full term in FOUR FRICKIN WEEKS, and he could feasibly come anytime 4-9 weeks from now. That’s insane and exciting and BAM…will be here before I know it. I can’t wait. 🙂