I’ve been struggling with coming to this space to write lately, and not necessarily because of fatigue & exhaustion. I mean… I’m tired, but I’m not that tired. I’m feeling conflicted and afraid of coming across as too “gloaty” (which I know isn’t even a word) or as having it too easy. I know that’s silly, but it’s how I’ve been feeling. At any rate, here I am, about to write a few updates on life around our house lately with a newborn – aka, the eat/sleep/poop update.
Eat: Breastfeeding is going well (Harvey was just over his birth weight already at 6d old) with just one instance of a clogged duct or early mastitis or something last week. It was basically 12 hrs of misery and maybe 24 hours total of not feeling well and pain, but that’s it. Other than that, Harvey eats like a champ, he is super efficient (averaging 8 min / side and about 2:30-3:00 of nursing per day spread over 10 feeds), my supply seems to be fine, and I know that we are so blessed to be having a fairly easy go of this with breastfeeding again. I’ve just started pumping again as well so we can start him on bottles next week in preparation for me to go back to work. Boo.
Sleep: I was just reading back over my weekly Stella updates and it seems like her brother is following in her (sleeping) footsteps so far. Some nights we’ll get 3-4 hour stretches of sleep, and some nights he’s up wanting to eat every 1-2 hours. Either way, I’m just reminding myself that these sleepy middle of the night feedings don’t last forever, and he won’t cuddle up in my arms like this forever, so I’m doing my darndest to enjoy every minute of his newborn-ness. I functioned really well on broken up hours of sleep when Stella was young, and so far the same seems to be true this time. Granted we haven’t hit the witching hour stage yet (I think Stella cried/fussed for 4 hours straight every night for a few weeks!), but so far we’re doing pretty darn well in the sleep department.
Poop: Our newborn cloth diapers that my MIL’s friend gifted us are adorable and fit Harvey well, and between those and the box of newborn disposable diapers that Sarah sent me, we literally haven’t spent a penny on diapers yet. He had a little bit of a rash last week, but that’s cleared up now, and as long as I remind myself to change him every couple of hours, he’s a happy camper! He gets a little gassy from time to time, but nothing too bad yet.
I love my blue-eyed baby! I swear he is smiling socially already, and that little “O” face on the right makes my heart melt too – he just started doing that today, and Stella did it all the time for a couple of weeks as well!
With all of that being said, so far, I have to admit… this hasn’t been too hard. It helps that Stella has been fantastic with him, and even when she is being an opinionated 2 year old with me (nap time meltdowns anyone?), I feel grateful that she’s taking out her confusion and frustration on me and her dad and not her baby brother.
Of course I write that and immediately look towards the sky, afraid I’m about to be struck by lighting, because surely I just JINXED myself.
I think part of my current ease of transition is knowing that I only get 8 short weeks off with little man. We are currently trying to figure out if I can go back to work part time for a few additional weeks (Charlie’s Mom fell last week & is now needing shoulder surgery, so our free Thursday daycare is on hiatus and makes the decision to try to finagle part time a little more realistic), but either way, I’ll definitely be back at work in March sometime, and since it’s already February tomorrow, I’m trying really hard to not freak out about how quickly my maternity leave is flying by. I so wish I could stay home with my kids while they were little. I hate that this isn’t a choice for us but instead is a “I have to work so we can pay the bills” thing. And yes, I know we’re not alone in this struggle.
I’m also blessed to have amazing friends & family supporting us. My parents were here from last Wednesday afternoon – Sunday morning, my in-laws have taken Stella twice for her usual Wednesday night over night, and we’ve had friends left and right dropping by with food & drink for us. I’ve made a point of showering 19 out of the last 20 days (it really does improve my outlook on everything in the day!), and I had a phenomenally easy recovery physically speaking this time, so yeah… things are great here.
I hope this post isn’t too boastful, but I feel like it’s important to come here and record the good times as well as the bad. I’m sure I’ll be writing a sleep deprived, frustrated post sooner rather than later, and I want to be able to come back to this post and remember that things can and will be good again someday. So far being a family of 4 is pretty darn awesome.
Honestly, I’m glad to see a post like this. It’s honest. In no way is it boastful, so no guilt.
I’m so glad that things are going well! Especially with Stella. I can only imagine how hard this transition would be, especially for her, so I will continue to keep my fingers crossed that things go smoothly.
Thanks, Cristy! I’m obviously pretty stoked about how the transition has gone so far.
He is adorable Josey and I am so glad things are going well! Sometimes I think it does get easier each time, not always, but so far for me it has. I had our little guy baby #4 last Sat (similar to your birth but in a hospital… in that it went quickly, doula, used the tub, no epidurals and no tears/sutures…also third VBAC!) After one really rough night of cluster feeding my milk came in and that has helped a ton with him getting sleep and us all getting rest!
I know of course like you said it won’t always be this easy (with napping, kids on the same schedule, getting through these winter days ugh!) but treasuring the small things like sleep these days! 😉
Yay! I’d been wondering if you had your baby yet. Congrats on a V3BAC!!
I got them both down for a double nap on Wednesday for 2 1/2 hours, and it was AMAZING. We definitely need to rejoice in the small victories. 🙂
Long time reader but Im not sure if I ever comment. Thank you so much for being honest. I always genuinely love reading all of your post. I love that things are going smoothly for you. I have twins that had a very rough start and thing weren’t smooth for a very long time. I think I left my blogging space because I felt like all I would be doing was ventin after years of trying for our miracles and now with them being 20 months I can finally say we are in a great place as a family and loving every part of it. Even if one of my girls has suddenly thought it would be cute to wake up 3 or 4 times a night. I love all of your picture on IG you have two gorgeous little ones.
Ya, I think it’s important to be honest about both the good times and the bad. It doesn’t mean we love our children or our lives and more or less — it’s just being honest about what’s going on in our lives!
What’s your IG name?
My IG is Martingirls. 🙂
Gotcha. 🙂 Your girls are definitely so grown up! It’s always crazy to me when you post the flashback pics of them on oxygen and such. I’m glad you’re in an easier place with them now.
Fantastic! Doesn’t sound boastful at all. I’m so glad Stella’s doing so well with him, too 🙂
Boast away. Aside from my breastfeeding woes and well the other crap going on, having the baby and Raegan has been a pleasure. It’s good to read the things are going easy stories because it means there’s hope for the rest of us, right? So happy to hear it’s going so well. As I head into work tonight and kiss my babies good bye, I’m sad, but the past three months have been amazing with my kiddos. Enjoy your time!
I loved newbornhood even more the second time. Everything was easier, smoother, and it was just wonderful. When they get mobile is starts getting harder, and then the toddler stage, with flipping the light switches, and hitting/kicking for fun, that is less entertaining. Also the part up to when the siblings start getting along and really play together, that is also less fun, basically because the little one keeps ruining whatever the older one does, which is frustrating for all. But when they do start playing together and make a team, wow… Enjoy this time, it really flies by.
I’m always happy to see a pos from you Josey. And boastful, no. Happy an proud and yet still humble, yes. Enjoy your gorgeous family x
I could have written this exact thing (minus breastfeeding ease, because my boys latch like wild beasts) when Bryson was born, but didn’t because I knew a couple other bloggers were struggling with two kids and I felt guilt and “gloaty.”. I wish I’d written that post. GOOD FOR YOU!
It doesn’t have to be hard. I think a lot of it is what you make of it. Like Matthew had a,week of throwing things at the cats and B and me – so we chalked it up to his life changing and loved him extra hard. He was over it in 5 days. Night wakings are part of the game, so enjoy the time with them. For me, bleeding nipples come with the territory, so cry when you want but get the help you need to fix it.
I told you the other day that having two is easy for me except nap time (who to put down first to maximize the double nap). It just is. I know it’s hard for many for good reasons, so I really appreciate my good fortune!
I’m soooo glad you’re loving your time with two!
Ugh, I’ve never had the bleeding nipples. THANK GOD. Mine are super tender still (he’s a hard latcher), but no cracks/bleeding, which is very much appreciated.
Double naps… the holy grail of parenting two littles. 🙂 I’m so glad I got to experience that the other day!
Yay! I love these “things are awesome” posts!
I told my therapist that I don’t talk much about Baby X on my blog. She immediately pointed to survivors guilt. It’s powerful! I like you’re update. 🙂
This. Exactly. I know I have blog friends who are struggling mightily with 2 for various reasons, and I feel badly posting that I’m not (so far!). I’m trying to remind myself that posting about it doesn’t change my reality or theirs though, and maybe it will give someone hope who is afraid about the 1 to 2 transition!
I have to admit that I did struggle with this a little bit this afternoon…but hear me out. As I was rocking MJB to sleep tonight, I found that I had tears streaming down my face because I figured out why. I really hate the person I turned into this past year, and how terribly I managed it all. And that is entirely on me to work through and resolve – and forgive myself for. Nobody else. It might be hard for me to read, but I wouldn’t want that to diminish your ability to say it. So, in the same way that it wouldn’t be fair for someone to call me negative or ungrateful because I experienced such difficulty, it wouldn’t be fair for someone to call you “gloaty” (new word!) because you *aren’t* experiencing it that way. It is just different circumstances for different people. I did the best I could, and so are you. So while this did stir up some stuff for me, while I rocked my baby (who actually sleeps now) I thought about how GLAD I am that this has been what it has for you. For that, I am joyful and grateful. It might be hard for me to read, but I wouldn’t want that to diminish your ability to say it.
This is a really brave comment to leave. Just like it thought it was brave of Josey to write the post. I love this community.
Seeing you be so honest, I will chime in and say I had my moments reading it too. I felt a little, woe-is-me why does breastfeeding have to suck so much for us, why do I still have to have thrush 13 weeks later (7 weeks of which I’ve been exclusively pumping), why did my daughter have to have SUCH a hard time with the transition, why were are first months so, so rocky? But, like you, I recognized that those were my thoughts to process in my own time and/or on my own space. They aren’t there because of anyone else’s experience. They are mine and mine alone and if someone’s else’s experience dredges up those feelings I need to work through them without any blame, because it’s no one’s fault.
Anyway, all that to say I also had a hard time reading it, but ultimately I AM happy for Josey. I hope she, and everyone, has a wonderful experience after their babies are born. I wouldn’t want anyone to struggle in any way.
You two are definitely the bloggers who were forefront in my mind when I wrote this post that I was worried about hurting. I’m grateful that you both are cognizant of the fact that our experiences thus far are simply different, and both sides of the coin deserve to be talked about.
I am so happy that things are going so well for you. I was deathly afraid of what life would be like with two children but I found it to be a very easy transition for us. Going from no children to one child was SO HARD but one to two was easy. Stella seems to be adjusting wonderfully. What a good girl!
We need to hear the good as well as the more challenging! I love that you are so peaceful now. I am going to be remembering that and envisioning it for my journey as well.
I’m glad things are going well! I remember thinking the same thing and then William started waking up more and needing more and the honeymoon period over. It got rough for awhile (colicky baby + toddler bedtime woes when mommy was already at her limit…) The nice part of baby #2 is that you can see the light at the end of the tunnel and know it gets easier and easier.
I’m glad to hear things are going so well for you guys!! No reason to feel bad at all if this is your reality. I agree the double naps are what keeps me sane on the days I’m home alone with the kids. I hope things continue to go as well as the days and weeks pass.
I’m so glad everything is going well. That is just awesome. And good luck making part time work. I really hope it does.
This makes me so happy to read for more reasons than one… the first and biggest being that I am so happy for you that it is going so well!!! That is awesome! And secondly, this gives me a bit of extra hope that it isn’t necessarily going to be really really hard… although it might, so I am prepared for that, but this gives me hope! 😉
How wonderful that Stella has been so good with H!! So sweet!
Love that little O face! Lids used to do that too.
Showers everyday were/are soo important to me. I never miss a shower, even if it isn’t always first thing in the morning. It helps so much, even if it is only 3 minutes long. To me it is worth whatever it takes to get it.
Again, SO SO happy that things are going so well for you and your family!!! 🙂
I’m glad to read updates like this; it gives me hope that it might happen for me too. So while you may feel guilty, please don’t censor yourself. Yes, your words might sting some, but they’re uplifting and encouraging to others. The only thing you can do is speak your truth and I’m thankful that you’re doing just that. I’m happy for you Josey and you just keep on keepin’ on! 🙂
I’m so glad that you’re enjoying this. A lot of people have said, and I agree, that life with a newborn is much less overwhelming and more fun the second time around, though the addition of a toddler is challenging. I found this was true for me too. I’m glad you’re enjoying your delicious newborn, sleeplessness and all.
OMG he’s here! You are rocking this! Congratulations, Josey! Harvey is beautiful <3
P.S. I love your accent, and your voice is very nice too 🙂
I love his fluffy hair! I’m glad things are going well!
I’m so happy for you that things are going so well. And you bring up a really interesting point- how hard it is to be honest on both ends of the spectrum- about the bad things as well as the good. I hope you continue to share the good things equally as the tough times- and by the comments, it seems like everyone else thinks the same 🙂
In all serious honesty, I am super happy that things are going well for you guys! Harvey is so adorable and precious and Stella singing to him was just the best! I love to see updates from you good and not so good! I hope good things keep up!
Never be afraid to celebrate the good along with sharing the bad. We all have our own stories and sharing both sides of that is important as to who we are. And it’s nice to read the good sometimes too 🙂 It’s crazy to me that it’s been three weeks already. I can’t imagine how fast time if flying by for you.
Why are women so self conscious? This isn’t boastful, it’s just honest. Embrace the good stuff because we all know that parenthood comes with tough stuff, too. Honestly, Harvey sounds like a champ and oh how I miss that “o” face – at 8 weeks, E doesn’t do it anymore and it’s one of those little cute newborn things that I truly miss. Enjoy!
Thanks, Sarah. I’m trying to remind myself of that! And yes, the ‘o” face is priceless & fleeting. I was so excited that Harvey has followed in his sister’s footsteps with that particular expression. 🙂
How adorable is that pic of bub on your chest?? VERY!! Both kids are adorable. Boast away – I do, kids are such a blessing, and beautiful and challenging little people. I also use cloth on my kids (currently 2 in diapers, they’re only 15 months apart). My 18 month old seems ‘ready’ to start TT, so we’ll see how that goes soon. He’s been sitting on potty at bathtime, and occasionally throughout the day aswell.