Fornication after Kids…the Survey Results!

First off, I had to giggle when I first looked at the results of this survey and realized 163 of you had taken it! 123 people responded to my first suvery about lopsided breasts, so apparently even more of you were curious about coitus than boobs. Who said women don’t talk about these things? πŸ˜‰

Overall, it looks like the majority of people try to give it a shot after getting clearance from their doc at 6/8 weeks, even if they’re scared. We miss doing it more often, with the majority only making time for it a couple of times a month, though 34% reported getting back into the swing of things between 6mo-2yrs postpartum/adoption — probably because that’s when most kids start sleeping through the night (and that’s a highly unscientific guess by me!). This was really interesting for me to read through – thanks to everyone who participated!

Now for the actual results:

  • How did your child(ren) join your life? (choose all that apply)
    • Vaginal Birth: 62%
    • Cesarean Birth: 34%
    • Adoption: 3%
    • Surrogacy: 0%
  • If you chose Cesarean/Adoption/Surrogacy above, do you think it made you more amiable to the idea of makin’ whoopie again sooner?
    • n/a: 56%
    • No: 34%
    • Yes: 10%
  • How old were your child(ren) before you got jiggy with it? (choose all that apply)
    • Slightly more than 6/8 weeks: 41%
    • We did it as soon as I was cleared at my 6/8 week postpartum appointment! 20%
    • Months later once I worked up the nerve/desire/energy: 19%
    • Less than 6 weeks: 15%
    • Sex? What’s that? 5%
  • Were you afraid to go to down again?
    • HELLS YES I was afraid: 64%
    • I really didn’t think about it one way or the other: 23%
    • Nope, I was cool as a cucumber: 13%
  • Did weight/body image concerns play a part in how long you waited to fool around?
    • No: 55%
    • Maybe a little: 28%
    • Yes: 17%
  • Was penetration uncomfortable? (choose all that apply)
    • Yes, because of vaginal dryness thanks to my wonky hormones from breastfeeding: 30%
    • Yes, because I was so nervous about the whole thing: 26%
    • Yes, because of scar tissue from healing after a tear: 26%
    • Nope, it was like the good ole’ days right away! 11%
    • Nope, we used plenty of lube: 6%
  • Taking a roll in the hay with my partner is… (choose all that apply)
    • Something I miss doing more often: 26%
    • Something I make a specific effort to do, even when I’m tired/not in the mood: 22%
    • Meh, I can take it or leave it: 15%
    • Something I miss enjoying: 15%
    • I don’t feel like doing at all now that we have kids: 12%
    • Something I love doing: 10%
  • How often do you hook up with your significant other now that you have kid(s) in the house?
    • A couple times a month: 44%
    • 1-2x/week: 36%
    • A few times a year: 13%
    • 3+ times a week: 4%
    • never: 3%
  • Who is more likely to initiate the polka dance?
    • My significant other: 56%
    • It’s about equal: 31%
    • Me, all the way! 12%
  • How old were your child(ren) before you felt like you had your old hanky panky life back?
    • TBD: 36%
    • 6 months – 2 years: 34%
    • Never did get back into the groove: 18%
    • 0-6 months: 7%
    • 2+ years: 6%

A few additional points I wish I had addressed in the survey:

  • What it does to your marriage to finally be getting back into the mood / swing of things and then get pregnant and/or enter fertility treatments again.
  • The effect of fatigue on desire.
  • The effect of alcohol on desire.
  • Feeling hornier during ovulation.
  • Leftover Infertility bullshit and its affect on things.
  • Co-sleeping (either room sharing or bed sharing) and its affect on your sex life… though I think this deserves an entire post in itself!Β feet

And now for your TMI statement of the day, inspired by this survey (and alcohol), we took the plunge last Saturday for our first time since Harvey was born. I had some leftover pre-seed that we definitely utilized, and I had a little bit of bleeding afterwards (I don’t remember this happening after Stella?), but overall I think we’re both glad to be back in the saddle. The first time is always the scariest, right?

How about you? Were you surprised by any of the percentages revealed in this (absolutely non-scientific) survey? What are your thoughts on nookie after kids?


  1. mcmissis · · Reply

    I put most of my thoughts out there on the survey post, but now I’d just like to add: those man feet in that picture must be fake. πŸ™‚ McMister had the grossest, calloused, cut-up feet. I can’t imagine him every having feet even half that pristine!

  2. LOL. I love this highly scientific study. Interesting results!

  3. How fun to see all the results!! I like hearing about what other people are up to in the bedroom! πŸ˜‰ It keeps me from worrying too much and makes me realize that a) we are ‘normal’ and b) there are all sorts of ‘normal’!! Thanks for doing this and sharing!

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