10 days

10 day ago she suddenly died.

Our family in 2011

Our family in 2011… how can she be gone from that group?

5 days ago we held her memorial service on the first day of spring.

Jaime Scoville 3 36326

Her memorial

Today I worked on figuring out details like depositing her final paycheck, creating an estate account, and paying her bills.

This is so fucking unfair. To go from planning a Saturday afternoon hangout with her to taking care of the final details of her life. It makes no sense.

IMG_4779

Squeezed in between her niece & nephew in the back seat of our car last month – exactly where she loved to be.

I’m struggling. This sucks.

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25 comments

  1. Oh Jos…thinking about you and your family all the time. Big *hug* girl.

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  2. Oh Josey….I’m so sorry….sending you love and hugs….

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  3. mcmissis · · Reply

    You are a great person to step up and handle these details.

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  4. I wish I had the words to ease your pain. Or even had so plausible reason for all of this. I have neither and all I can do is agree that this is completely and totally unfair.

    I’m so sorry Josie. Please know you an your family are in my thoughts and prayers during this time.

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  5. mandski · · Reply

    I’m sorry, Jos. Thinking of you all the time and hating that there’s really nothing to ease the pain.

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  6. lparsons15 · · Reply

    This really takes my breath away, I hate this for all of you, so effing wrong on every level. Big hugs…

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  7. Hate this for you so so much Josey! 😦 Wish there was something, anything I could do. I am so sorry. Here for you anytime, in anyway.

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  8. Abiding with you. This is complicated with no good answers.

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  9. I’ve been thinking about you daily. I’m so so sorry.

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  10. what can I even say. nothing is going explain this awful tragedy. xxxxx

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  11. I know it’s not enough…but I am so very sorry for your loss. Praying for you.

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  12. “This is so fucking unfair… It makes no sense.” Can’t believe this is your reality. So fucking unfair indeed. I wish I could hug you to stop the spinning for even a split second. XO XO

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  13. It IS unfair. I wish there were words to make things better, but I know there aren’t 😦

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  14. I am so very sorry :/

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  15. You never think of all the things that need doing at times like these. There is always more than you think and your right it totally sucks! You’re a gem for doing it. There will be a time when things are done and you can just be. I keep thinking how great it is you love your camera and how many wonderful pictures you have of Jamie. Take care of you.

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  16. My word, Josey. I have been thinking about you and your family so much. I can’t even imagine such a loss, someone so young. In all the pictures you post she seems so vibrant and full of life. And as an ex-waitress myself the fact that she won an award for that speaks volumes about her personality and outgoingness. I am so sorry for all of you, for the loss of a sister and a friend.

    I also wanted to say, and I hope this doesn’t sound odd, that I loved the fact that people were encouraged to wear bright colors to the memorial in memory of Jaime’s life. That is all that can be done now – celebrate the person and presence she was, in all its bright splendor.

    So many hugs for you.

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  17. There are no words of comfort when something like this happens. You and your family have been in my thoughts and prayers since this tragedy occurred. I’m so very sorry. Tears were shed here for a beautiful soul that left way too early. ((hugs))

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  18. I lost a very close friend suddenly a few years ago. The shock and grief was so intense and overwhelming those first few weeks. I’m so sorry you and your family are going through this. Your SIL clearly lived a love-filled life, she looks so joyful in every picture you post. Praying you can find peace down the line. For now, be gentle with yourself and take each day (or hour) one at a time.

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  19. Oh, Jos. My heart is aching so much for you and Charlie and his family. I wish I could help ease the pain in someway, but I know from experience that these sudden deaths take a long, long time to comprehend and move from sharp overwhelming pain to an aching longing. It did help me to keep my friends memory and spirit alive by talking, telling stories, laughing. So were all here to hear your Jaime stories. She was just beautiful, stylish, loving and I would love to hear more about her and your relationship. Hugs!

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  20. I don’t know what to say, but want to say something. As I read this post, my mind had instant reactions to each of your sentences, but the one that struck me is your question about how she can be gone from the S group. My instant thought was, “you’re going to ask yourself that for the rest of your life.” It’s amazing, and wonderful, and sad, and heart-wrenching, and awful, and inspiring that the loss of Jaime will be felt by you all for the duration of your lives. Never forgotten, always loved, forever missed. Photos and the experiences of your family will never feel “right” again without her, and they shouldn’t really, and that’s hard to fathom. As much as this hurts, you also never want to feel ok without her. Tough emotions.

    Hugs and love, my friend.

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  21. Elizabeth · · Reply

    I wish I could say something to help.

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  22. Many hugs to you all in this horrifically awful time. I’m so glad you have so many happy memories of Jaime and so sad you won’t have more.

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  23. Thank you for giving us a glimpse of what an awesome person she was. I am so sorry for the shock and grief you are all going through.

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  24. All I can say is that I get it. 😦

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    1. Rereading this post b/c you commented…it all feels unreal. I look at that photo of her in my backseat and seriously canNOT believe she’s gone.

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