WWW – Eating & Drinking My Way Through Grief

Well, my last check-in was on March 12th at 2 months postpartum. I was down to 162.3# that day (161# was my pre-pregnancy weight) and feeling pretty good about my progress. When Jaime died on the 15th, everything sort of went out the window. We were in a fog for days, and literally every day since then we’ve been eating food that others have brought over for us. In times of great joy & great sorrow, people want to help, and often that help comes in the form of comfort food for dinner. The food has been much appreciated, but it also means I’ve done absolutely zero food tracking in MFP for the past month, and my exercise has been almost non-existent as well. There were so many family members & friends around, and just getting through the day with them was the priority.

With Stella I got down to 155.5# at 13w pp and was feeling SO great about myself. Today that is not the case.

So here is where things stand for me now at 3 months postpartum (1st goal is 161# – I’m 5’8″ tall):

January 12: 181.2#
February 12: 163.9#
March 12: 162.3#
April 12: 167.0#

1-3

I am incredibly bloated right now from 4 weeks of consuming lots of fatty food & beer, so it’s time to focus on getting that under control before summer is here with its tank tops and swim suits. My size 10 jeans were fitting okay a month ago, and now I’m back in my size 12s (they’re loose) and maternity pants (to avoid the muffin top). Ew.

Because we now have a nanny coming to our house to watch the kids, it means I’ll lose my empty house on my lunch break when I normally worked out on the elliptical. This is motivating me to re-look at my knee injury and why I keep having the IT band issues. I bought a foam roller right before I got pregnant with Harvey, so it’s time to dig that out and start using it to see if I can get that pain resolved so I can just run on my lunch breaks instead. For now I’m actually still nursing Harvey on my lunch breaks, but if I remember correctly I stopped doing that around 6 months with Stella. In the meantime I need to find a way to make time to work out either in the early morning or in the evenings after work. Fun fun.

My goals moving forward:

My friend Amy is a Personal Trainer and set me up with 2 different workout plans that I’d like to start on. Between those and restarting my C210k app, it’s time to make this change. No more choosing comfort over change – it’s time to get unstuck.

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13 comments

  1. mcmissis · · Reply

    McMister is watching baseball, and Poppy’s asleep on me so I can’t move; so I apologize for social media stalking you right now 🙂

    Anyway, I haven’t lost any weight since about 2 weeks in with Poppy, and I’m still about 20 lbs more than I need to be. I really, really, really need to get to work! These posts of yours are always super inspiring for me. Also, I like your phone case 🙂

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  2. Oh gosh. Free pass for you. I can’t even imagine trying to get into shape under the circumstances you’ve experienced. Comfort all the way. You are doing great though, being healthy and strong through all of this.

    Speaking of Amy, I had a dream I saw her at my gym (I don’t have a gym) and I totally overwhelmed her with excitement of being a crazy person and she asked me to get her a drink of water before she passed out. 🙂

    Btw, I’ve gained 3 pounds since stopping bfing. Damn it!!!

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  3. Like Lanie said above… free pass!! In times like this, you just need to focus on what is most important… and exercise and healthy eating are not it!! Comfort food and drinks were needed and expected. I think you did well to only gain that much. And it sounds like you are reading to get back at it now, so good for you and good luck!!

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  4. I’ve been really lax in reading and commenting on blogs the past couple of months, but I’ve been thinking about you a lot, Josey. It’s an absolute tragedy about Jamie. I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s unspeakably sad.

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  5. I feel ya. I ate and drank my way thru the failed match. 5lbs later and I feel gross. Time to get back on MFP! We can do it!!

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    1. UGH, once I’m in the habit I don’t mind MFP. I just hate getting back into it.

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  6. Definitely a free pass. And good for you on getting going again, but be kind to yourself! And I also dig that phone case!

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    1. The phone case is a hand-me-down from a blog friend! 🙂

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  7. mandski · · Reply

    I really admire your resolve. Sometimes a person can only handle so much at once, and grief really makes it impossible to be very disciplined about things that aren’t strictly necessary. I’m amazed and impressed that you’re trying to get back on the bandwagon.

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  8. […] March 15: Jaime died, shit hit the fan. I commence eating & drinking my way through sorrow. April 12: 167.0# – 3m postpartum May 12: 168.3#​ – 4m postpartum June 12: 163.0# – 5m […]

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  9. […] March 12: 162.3# – 2m postpartum March 15: My SIL died. I eat & drink my way through grief. April 12: 167.0# – 3m postpartum May 12: 168.3#​ – 4m postpartum June 12: 163.0# – 5m postpartum July […]

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  10. […] March 12: 162.3# – 2m postpartum March 15: My SIL died. I eat & drink my way through grief. April 12: 167.0# – 3m postpartum May 12: 168.3#​ – 4m postpartum June 12: 163.0# – 5m postpartum […]

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  11. […] March 12: 162.3# – 2m postpartum March 15: My SIL died. I eat & drink my way through grief. April 12: 167.0# – 3m postpartum May 12: 168.3#​ – 4m postpartum June 12: 163.0# – 5m postpartum […]

    Like

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