4 years ago my parents were here for a visit during the peak of fall colors, so we did a lot of driving around the area, oohing and aahing over the beautiful trees. My Mom took this picture of Charlie and I on a particularly beautiful stretch of road, and we actually ended up using it for our Christmas Card picture that year.
However, in the fall of 2010, we were right in the midst of our TTC/IF struggles, and things were not great between the two of us. Lots of bickering, fighting, and overall frustrated interactions between us ruled the day, and we were actually PISSED at each other when this picture was taken, so it has always made me sort of half laugh and half cringe to see it. I was in such a dark place of feeling like we would never be able to be parents, and I unfortunately took a lot of it out on my husband. It wasn’t good.
Today we drove around with the kids after a visit to the local pumpkin patch, and when we got to this particular stretch of road, I just had to make Charlie stop the car so I could jump out and take a picture. Harvey was sleeping, but Stella got out with me, and I snapped this quick selfie with my phone to send to my Mom.
If only I could have told that sad, angry woman 4 years ago that things would work out just fine — that we’d have 2 beautiful kids and a wonderful marriage, and that it wasn’t worth it to take out my feelings of hurt and rage and frustration on the man who was in it with me to the end. It’s amazing to think of how far we have come in the past 4 years, and it’s even cooler to think about what the future will hold for us and our kids. I know I say it all the time, but no matter what the challenges are that we will face in life, we truly are so blessed.