The last two times I got my period, I was pregnant that following cycle with one of my children.
Today I got my period for the first time since Harvey was born last year, but I know that I definitely won’t get pregnant this cycle – or anytime soon for that matter! I’m really not sure how to feel about that fact. After all of our struggles with infertility and all of my wonky, long, anovulatory cycles that drove me bonkers for years, it’s just pretty unreal to not be on the TTC wagon again.
This time around, I got my cycle back after 700 days. That’s 40 weeks + 4 days of gestating and 13 months of nursing that held off the return of my cycle, but the difference this time around is that I know I have a (non-hormonal) copper IUD in so I can’t get pregnant, and that is SO WEIRD to think about.
Pregnancy is so hard on me, and for a multitude of reasons we are pretty sure we are done with 2 kids. That being said, we are not totally sure that we are done (I often lean towards LET’S HAVE ANOTHER ONE while my husband is more in the NEVER AGAIN camp), and now that it’s real to me that my cycle is back and yet we are actively preventing any possible pregnancies… *sigh*… I don’t know, it just makes me sad and conflicted and relieved and torn. I just wish I knew what our family was “supposed” to look like. Will we try to have a third? Or will we stay a family of four?
Also, how am I so blessed that this is even the question I’m struggling with?
It’s amazing and humbling to remember how I used to pray and pray for just one child in my life, and now I find myself deliberating between two or three. How the world has changed for us in the past four years! I hope to never forget how truly lucky we are to have these children in our lives.
- March 15, 2011 – After nearly two years of TTC, the IUI cycle began that brought us Stella
- December 8, 2011 – I had a couple of weeks of bleeding after she was born, but that was it.
- March 12, 2013 – My first postpartum period, and thus began the (LONG) cycle began that brought us Harvey.
- January 12, 2014 – I had 1-2 weeks of bleeding after Harvey was born, but again, not bad.
- February 10, 2015 – My first postpartum period began, and hence the TTC question is on my mind again… Just 3 periods in 1428 days… wow.