In the past few years, Charlie and I have successfully used Craig’s List to buy & sell roughly $100,000 worth of goods. We have bought two vehicles, sold one vehicle, bought a raft, and bought a set of used concrete forms for Charlie’s business, all without issue. Needless to say, we are comfortable doing fairly large transactions with people we meet online.

Then we met Walt.

Last month we put my car on Craig’s List when we were thinking about buying an Acadia, but the guy who contacted us… um, I have no words. I’ll let the snippets I’m including of our 48 hour exchange below do the talking for me.

*spoiler* We didn’t sell the car to him. 🙂

Also, every single email he sent me came through twice, which just added to the clusterfuck of words. I mean, TMI dude, TMI. I originally included all of his words, but this post was over 3,000 words long. This guy was quite the over-sharer! I’m so thankful our entire interaction was through the CL emails so he doesn’t have my full name or phone or email or anything. Yikes!

*****

Sunday, 2:29pm

2. What does it need? What are some of things that are wrong with it? I’m a real pain if there’s something wrong and I’m not told. I’m disabled, in pain everyday and one more pain like dishonesty tips the scale.
3. Can I put it on a lift somewhere and inspect underneath?
4. Can I pull off a a front and rear tire and inspect the brakes?

Um, what? I’m not going to drive to a body shop and ask them to pretty please put my car on a lift. Huh? And pain like dishonesty? Okay…

Monday, 4:35pm

I’ve had 7 back related surgeries, in variable forms of pain daily and I’m on a lifetime of SSDI because of it and have been since 2006. So I, like you, don’t have time or the money for mistakes.

Has the Oxygen Sensor(s) been changed since you’ve had it?

Have you had a Check Engine Light come on and if so, what was the reason(s) and remedy?

Have the ignition coils ever been changed out?

Holy shit, dude. I have no idea. You need to be buying from a dealer. I’ve done the scheduled maintenance on my car – no more, no less. What the fuck is the oxygen sensor? Why are you telling me about your pain meds?

Monday, 8:44 PM

It’ll probably serve my mind better just to finance one. There’s two 2012/2013 Fusions at my local Ford Dealership in the $14-$16 ranges, 42,000 & 26,000 miles which I really don’t want to finance a vehicle as I wont be able to deal with having to have full coverage on insurance. There a a few more at the other major dealerships.

I trust you. If I don’t talk to you again, I wish you all the best.

Um, okay. Best of luck to you then?

Tuesday, 2:31am

It’s me again!

I trust your judgement. So, if you you’re good with $9,000 and if you can deliver it to me, as soon as I sell the Jeep, baring something else doesn’t pop up or you sell the Fusion before I have the money, then I’ll take it. I have no way of getting to you. No friends and no reliable family. I’m pretty isolated. I’ll be able to afford to give you $50 for fuel.

Also I have to save as much money as possible on the title when it comes to me paying taxes and yearly registration fees. Paying yearly registration fees on $9,000 isn’t something I can afford and being its a 8 year old vehicle with over 70,000 miles, it wont be an issue, I’m sure you understand what I mean.

If you are good with what I’ve said, the day before you come, I’d appreciate you going to your local Autozone or O’Reillys. They have a handheld Load Tester and Alternator tester. It takes 2 minutes for them to do. Not having to worry about the battery and alternator right off the bat would put my mind at ease.

My other option(s) are/was to put $9,000 down and finance $5,000-$7,000 from Wells Fargo…it’s the insurance on top of the monthly loan payment and yearly registration fees on a $15,000-$16,000 vehicle that I wouldn’t be able to afford. I’d be on a financial edge and I’ve worked hard to get my FICO consistantly over 800 points every month.

Because of medical appointments, I can’t be without a vehicle for more than a few weeks as I only have my mother to drive me places and her 1993 Tracer has a shift issue in the transmission. This is why I’m looking at everything now, so I’m ready.

Did he just ask us to falsify the sale documents so he wouldn’t have to pay as much in registration fees and taxes? Why do I know more more about his financial history and FICO score than his own mother at this point?

Tuesday, 4:59am

It’d be more fair if you drive it here and then I drive you back half of the way, meeting your wife. This way your kids don’t have to drive 180 miles. That should give me enough time to get to the Motor Vehicle Office and State Farm the day you bring it, getting out of your name.

Charlie literally laughed out loud at this. Um, there is no way in hell that the kids and I were going to be part of the transaction with this weirdo at this point!

Tuesday, 7:14pm

I’ve learned to not be passive. When you look at my vehicle, you’ll see it’s a fair price. I don’t have to sell it. It’s the baddest ass CJ7 [in our area]!

I really don’t care to sell it anymore, as I know what exactly what I have, what I’ve done and what it’s worth.

Sorry to put you through my thoughts, but I thought I was dealing with a person from [XXX] who has a business, to at least tell me a approximate date on when she was going to buy the Jeep. I told her to send me $100 to hold it but I can’t go 5 days or weeks and just wait when my Jeep is worth more than I promised her.

I hate deceptive people.

Good Lord, I don’t even know what this means. Does he want our car or not? WTF?

Tuesday, 8:02pm

No, I was going to pay the $9,000 as I figured out you were correct in your KBB price. I’d need you to drive it to me and I’d drive you back, however, I’m waiting for the ppl to buy my vehicle before I can even do it.

*****

It’s at this point that I just quit replying to him. My internal freak out alarm was going off, and even if he was just some lonely dude with pain issues, I could not handle dealing with him anymore. I’ll keep my car and not add a car payment myself, #thankyouverymuch