Friends In Low Places

The last 48 hours have been an emotional roller coaster for me. I’m coming off a week of being horrid sick and I’m probably PMSing (CD32 over here, but I have no idea what that really means since my cycle could be 30 days or 50 days, I never freakin’ know)… so the combination of those things obviously doesn’t help. However, I just hit a wall. Hard. Like breaking out into uncontrollable sobs multiple times a day hard.

What the fuck?

Tuesday night I lost it on my husband for various reasons – some deserved and some not. The outcome of it all though was that it’s very apparent that I’m feeling seriously bereft in the friendship department right now & jealous of my husband and his group of friends who hang out all the time together after work and on weekends. Don’t get me wrong – I am lucky to have a few fantastic girlfriends here in town, but they’re all pregnant or parenting babies, and I seriously miss having someone to call who can meet me at the drop of a hat for a drink after work to vent about the day with, you know? Now we all work full time and run home to do the requisite “good wife” tasks of cooking dinner and playing with the kids and doing the bedtime routine and trying to somehow spend quality time with our spouses…and…and…and…

At the same time, I recognize that my friends probably feel the same way about me, but I think the difference is that I totally WOULD drop everything, leave the kids with my husband, and meet up with them if they called. I know most people wouldn’t though (and simply don’t crave it like I do), so I’m just feeling really horribly lonely lately. I am 100% an outgoing extrovert, and right now that just isn’t getting fulfilled by work colleagues and immediate family. And I feel like a piece of shit for that.

Thankfully, yesterday morning my best friend texted me this:

There’s a little voice inside of my head saying I need to slow down and relax. Are you free to go out for a drink after work tonight?

I literally laughed out loud and texted her back and asked her if Charlie had put her up to it because we haven’t gone out for a drink together just the two of us since before she got pregnant (and she has a 5 month old now!). He honestly hadn’t – she has just been struggling with a lot of the same things as me and yesterday was her breaking point where she finally reached out to me – so we got together last night for 3 hours after work and talked and cried and drank and talked and cried and drank some more and DAMN that felt good.

Moral of the story? I have some kick ass friends. I just need to remember to actually reach out to them more instead of assuming they’re too busy. We ARE all busy, but that doesn’t mean we won’t be there for each other when it comes down to it. <3

Riss (2)



  1. I love this. We all need more of this. I am actually very introverted–a total homebody so I don’t necessarily have that desire to go out with friends like you do. But I get it. I do. Honestly, all I want these days is to feel pretty. I want to not look like a fricken schlep every day. I want to dress up. So even if it means putting on makeup to go outside with the kids for a walk, I’ve been doing it.

    1. This is totally me too! I have a standing dinner date with my best friend every Sunday so that I don’t forget to reach out to her. She comes over, we all catch up , she plays with the kids, we eat… Repeat the next week! If it wasn’t a weekly thing, I would truly forget to call her.

      I’ve been trying to dress up more too. It’s fun!!

  2. Shannon C. · · Reply

    This SO makes me wish we didn’t live across the country from each other because I would love to have conversation and drinks with you! Having a good friend like this is priceless. I am thankful that you had some girl time last night! When I make the time to do it myself, I always feel so refreshed (even if it means even LESS sleep than usual) and wonder what took us so long to make time for it! I am the type to invest in a few really meaningful and deep friendships vs multiple on the surface friendships and it leaves me often feeling isolated and lonely because these amazing friends now live hundreds of miles away in big cities while I am alone in the country. You have inspired me (once again) to make time for girl time over the holidays!

  3. Oh my! I totally hear you! Granted, here in Minneapolis neither Bryan or I have friends- really any friends. We have Graham and Maylynn whom we LOVE to hang out with, but they are super busy and Graham works in Texas Min-Thurs. but we do not have any for ends here. We need to get out separately more than we need a date night! I’m so glad that you have great friends out there and that you FINALLy got out! Good for you!!!!

  4. i can SO relate to this. i just got my period after almost 2 years without and i was a MESS. but also, i get really lonely. the bummer for me is that i reach out a lot and don’t get the return i’d like. my friends ARE too busy a lot of the time with their own work and families. i have one go to girlfriend without kids who is always there for me and i love her for that. my husband has his work friends and a whole separate life that i’m not part of there, so that is a struggle sometimes.

  5. So sorry you have been having a rough time.. but so glad your friend called and you got to go out for a drink, or several with her!! One of my friends here suggested recently that we start a Tuesday night ladies’ night since the men go out much more. So we started that 3 weeks ago and it has been so much fun!!! I would never bother calling anyone or going out without it and even this past Tuesday I was tempted to be lazy and stay in but so glad I pushed myself to go out because it is always a blast, way too many drinks and way too little sleep for a Tuesday! 😉 I hope you are able to find more and more nights out with friends. And if you ever want to have a virtual drink across the ocean, give me a shout!! 🙂

  6. mcmissis · · Reply

    🙁 I’m sorry. I’m totally one of the homebodies who doesn’t want to go out, but McMister is the opposite, just like you. AND he stopped drinking a few months back. So, I guess just be happy you still have that? LOL. It’s been really hard for him to avoid that scene, but still hang out with people, you know? Anyway, I’m so glad you got to have a fun, refreshing night out, and maybe you two will make it a joint priority more now that it’s out in the open you both crave it, even if you don’t say it. You are so great at recognizing what you need to be happy and getting it! Keep up the the good work 🙂

  7. I could have written this, 100%, except I never end up getting together with that friend. At least I haven’t in a long time.

    Today we were watching Daniel Tiger and it was the episode with the song, “When you’re friends don’t want to play with you, you can find something fun to do,” and I wanted to scream, WHAT?! WHAT FUN THING CAN I DO?! I would give anything to sit across from someone and have a real, live, adult conversation, but everyone I reach out to is too busy, or we start trying to make plans and the attempt eventually fizzles. I just can’t seem to find the stamina to keep trying these days. It’s just too hard and I get too little in return…

    I’m glad you got to have that kind of time with a friend that reminds you why you should keep trying.

  8. St. Elsewhere · · Reply

    Glad the friend reached out to you and you guys had a nice vent out.

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