Last year I went to the movie Inside Out with my kids and sobbed my heart out. You see, there’s a scene where the main character’s imaginary childhood friend falls into the Memory Dump, aka where forgotten memories go to die. There is a chance for he and Joy to get out, but he sacrifices himself so that Joy could return. It’s an incredibly poignant scene, and you’d better believe that my tears flowed heavily. :*(
Honestly, what really hit me in that moment was the reminder of how much my kids won’t know or remember about their Auntie Jaime. We talk about her all the time – nearly daily – and our family isn’t afraid to share stories and funny memories whenever they come up. The problem is that the kids were 2 months and 2y3m old when she died, so clearly they weren’t old enough to actually have their own memories of her.
For a long time after Jaime died, Stella would still tell us stories about her and say comments about things they had done together, but now, 2y8m later (wow, so she’s now lived longer without Jaime here on Earth than with us)…the first person memories are definitely gone.
Stella and I were lying in bed this morning talking, and I said something about Jaime. I asked her if she remembered her anymore, and she very simply said, “Nope. Well, I remember being in the leaves with her and moving my arms like this [flapping her arms around], but that’s it.”
That is actually a “memory” she has because of a couple videos Jaime took on our iPad of she and Stella on one of the many days she watched her for us while we were at work. Jaime never actually appears in the videos, but from time to time you can see her fat hand throwing leaves (OH how she hated her fat fingers *lol*) and hear her laugh or make a comment to Stelly.
What I wouldn’t give to have more videos of her to look back on. Today is your PSA to remember to be in the picture with your kids. Be in VIDEOS with your kids. Some day all your loved ones will have of you is memories, and it’s beyond incredible to get to see & hear that person talk and laugh.
Ah. This made me cry big hot tears. I’m so sorry for your loss. And all the loses that have been born of Jaime’s death.
This made me tear up too!! It just isn’t fair 🙁 I’m glad you have the pictures and videos though. My family is coming down for Thanksgiving and I’m seriously thinking about making them all sit for pictures with the kids because we just don’t have many.
(Also, I have Inside Out sitting next to the DVD player in my room — still in the plastic wrap. I bought it as soon as it came out, but I haven’t watched it because I’m sure I’d lose it over that scene.)
Watch the movie – it makes me cry, but I love it. Love love love it.
Also YES to the adult picture!! My aunt committed suicide when Harvey was 1 day old, and just a few weeks before that my uncle had come to town to visit from Alaska and the 4 siblings (my dad + 3) took a fantastic group shot together. It was the first one of the 4 of them in decades, and also the last one they’ll ever get. That picture is priceless. You just never know.