Tag Archives: Faith

#NaBloPoMo – Day 7, My Parents

Last November when I did #NaBloPoMo, on Day 7 I alluded to a big surgery my Mom was going in for. Basically, in the end of October, my Mom went to her family doc for a routine acute issue. While there, she mentioned in passing a pain she had experienced on her left side 10 days […]

Day 7, #NaBloPoMo – Family

I’m not sure what she wants shared here publicly on my blog yet, but my Mom is going in for a pretty big surgery this afternoon, and any and all prayers or well wishes or whatever you believe in are much appreciated. I’m hopeful we will know more tonight, but realistically I’m guessing it will […]

Day 1, #NaBloPoMo – A Mental Health Day

Try as I may, it’s been months since I’ve been able to get back into the habit of writing here consistently. I saw an old blog friend post on FB today about her decision to join #NaBloPoMo this month and thought to heck with it, why not try? I have a million thoughts swirling around […]

They’re Always With Us

Last night we went up to my in-laws’ house for dinner, and after a really nice meal together, we got together for a quick family selfie. It’s always bittersweet to take group photos that don’t include Jaime, but we have all realized that you never know when it will be your last chance to take […]

Twin Tragedy

(trigger warning) . . . My sister is married to a great guy who has 2 brothers and a sister. One of his brothers and his wife experienced infertility, and after a long journey and multiple IVF cycles, they now have boy/girl twins. The babies were born early (34 weeks I think?) and it was […]

Baby Steps & Hopefully Good Reads

So upon the recommendations of a couple of you, I purchased three different books last week for Charlie and I to read together to hopefully jump start some of the tough conversations we have in our future. For Women Only For Men Only The Introvert and Extrovert In Love: Making It Work When Opposites Attract […]

Where Love Began is Not Where It Will End

A post popped up in my Facebook timeline this morning that made me cry. I don’t officially follow their page, but it is the company from which I always order the kids’ Christmas ornaments and my beautiful stacking rings, so it caught my eye. And my heart. maybe love doesn’t last  I clicked over and read her blog […]

Long & Short Goodbyes

Three years ago in March, a man walked into a medical office with a cough he couldn’t shake. He walked out with a diagnosis of stage 4 lung cancer and a referral to oncology. He started aggressive treatments and was told he had 4-6 months to live. He overhauled his habits & lifestyle, utilized every tool he […]

Memories, Not Dreams

Yesterday marked the 11 year anniversary of my first date with my husband. We’ve been through our share of ups and downs over those 11 years, and honestly, right now we are still working through one of the down spells. These times are tough, but I suppose most marriages go through this, so I take […]

On Grief: 18 Months Later

Yesterday I opened up my Facebook page and saw that my father-in-law has posted this simple status update, and I burst into tears at work. (Let Her Go was Jaime’s favorite song when she died, and we played it at her memorial service) Charlie and I have talked about how odd grief is. How is it […]

The Accident

I will preface this post by saying that Harvey is okay. Thank the Lord. This morning I got to spend just 45 minutes with the kids before heading to work at 8am. I’ve been gone since 4am last Saturday and returned home last night at 10pm (SUCH a fantastic vacation – I’ll post more about […]

The Monday Snapshot – Easter Egg Hunting Edition

Yesterday we woke Stella with a rousing chorus of Halleluia! He is Risen! It’s Easter, Stella! Jesus died to save us all and then he rose to Heaven and lives with God (and Auntie Jaime!). She was a little confused, but thought it was cool that Jesus and Auntie Jaime were roomies. 🙂 Then we headed […]

The Monday Snapshot – Flowers

Approaching the first anniversary of Jaime’s passing was really tough. Thankfully, we cried so much in those days leading up to it, that the actual day (Sunday) was a bit anti-climatic. Sunday was lovely. We went to church as a family (and probably 15 friends of the family joined us), walked to Jaime’s bench together, […]

The Monday Snapshot – Letters from Heaven

Last Monday morning, my Grandpa died. This Monday morning, I checked my mail and saw a letter from my Grandpa, postmarked the day he died. You see, every year my Grandpa liked to give each of the 12 grandkids a Christmas card with our names written on the front of it and some cash in it, and […]

Happy 33rd Birthday to Me

Well, the past week has been pretty crappy around here, literally. Sickness and death, bickering and fatigue… you name it, we’ve been struggling with it. Today I’m really trying to stop and refocus though. I want to be thankful for sisters who tweet me pictures like this: …and for Moms who post pictures like this… …and […]

The Monday Snapshot – On Continuing Grief

This morning my Mom called me at 6:27am. It’s never a good thing when my Mom calls me, no matter what time of day it is, because my Mom only calls if someone I love has died. I love my Mom, and I call her nearly every day, but I sure don’t like seeing her […]

On Grief: From a Different Perspective

My family started 2014 full of so much excitement and joy. Harvey was born on January 12th, and we just knew it was going to be a great year. It was a great year. However, it was also a year of great loss. Just to name the three deaths that were closest to me: The next […]

Merry Christmas!

Growing up in a rural area of a mid-western state and attending a Lutheran Liberal Arts college, I was pretty much surrounded by ELCA Lutherans and Catholics for the first 22 years of my life. There are some differences in specific beliefs between people raised in different denominations of Christianity, but overall, most of us were coming […]

Rocketships to Heaven

The last few weeks have kicked my ass. I just finished my 3rd week of trying to do 80 hours of work in half the time (it’s impossible, by the way), and I’m floundering. My coworker (and good friend) had her baby 3 weeks ago, and during her 8 week maternity leave, I’m covering her […]

The Monday Snapshot – Goodbyes

This morning was my Grandmother’s funeral, and it was a beautiful morning for it. The music at the church service was fantastic, and it was so fun to see how many people in the community had known and loved her. There’s something to be said for living in the same area for 85 years. After […]

4 in 5, and Grandma is Gone

Today marks 5 months since little Harvey was born into my arms in the temporary pool we had set up in our guest bedroom. That was such a fantastic, wonderful day, and yet I mourn how much of the first 5 months of his life I’ve spent crying. It doesn’t feel fair to my family, […]

You Cannot Go Back – Tearful Thoughts on Godparents

Last night I hung up the phone after talking to my best friend here and sobbed my heart out. Let’s back up. After Jaime died, my cousin whose Mom died the day after Harvey was born recommended signing up for emails from GriefShare.org. It’s a daily email that comes into my inbox in the middle of […]

10 days

10 day ago she suddenly died. 5 days ago we held her memorial service on the first day of spring. Today I worked on figuring out details like depositing her final paycheck, creating an estate account, and paying her bills. This is so fucking unfair. To go from planning a Saturday afternoon hangout with her to taking […]

The Monday Snapshot – Attempting Normality

I have so much to say about the past 8 days and at the same time, nothing to say. It was a beautiful service on Thursday, and today I have to go to work. I don’t wanna go.

Sadness Beyond Comprehension

Yesterday my sister-in-law (Charlie’s little sister) died, suddenly and unexpectedly. She was honestly one of my best friends here in town, and my kids adored her. I don’t even have words to express how heartbroken we all are right now. The pain my husband and his family are feeling is incomprehensible to me. Please pray […]