Tag Archives: Jaime

Day 5, #NaBloPoMo – Forgotten Memories

Last year I went to the movie Inside Out with my kids and sobbed my heart out. You see, there’s a scene where the main character’s imaginary childhood friend falls into the Memory Dump, aka where forgotten memories go to die. There is a chance for he and Joy to get out, but he sacrifices himself so […]

They’re Always With Us

Last night we went up to my in-laws’ house for dinner, and after a really nice meal together, we got together for a quick family selfie. It’s always bittersweet to take group photos that don’t include Jaime, but we have all realized that you never know when it will be your last chance to take […]

Microblog Mondays: 30

Today would have been Jaime‘s 30th birthday. That’s hard to even imagine. One of the hardest parts of Jaime being gone is knowing that Charlie has lost that incredibly close friendship with his little sister and that our kids won’t get to grow up with her in their lives. We were at a birthday party last […]

Updates

I hope to write a well thought out post soon, but in the meantime, here are some updates on my insane life lately! *The show last week went SO well. My hair was crazy, the show was crazy, my husband decided at the last minute to come support me, and it was awesome. It resulted […]

Long & Short Goodbyes

Three years ago in March, a man walked into a medical office with a cough he couldn’t shake. He walked out with a diagnosis of stage 4 lung cancer and a referral to oncology. He started aggressive treatments and was told he had 4-6 months to live. He overhauled his habits & lifestyle, utilized every tool he […]

Momentos

When Stella was born in December 2011, I knew I wanted to start the tradition of a beautiful ornament for her to add to the tree each year. One of my blog friends (Jill @ Happy Hopefuls) had just written about the gorgeous one she had chosen for her son, and I was so in […]

On Grief: 18 Months Later

Yesterday I opened up my Facebook page and saw that my father-in-law has posted this simple status update, and I burst into tears at work. (Let Her Go was Jaime’s favorite song when she died, and we played it at her memorial service) Charlie and I have talked about how odd grief is. How is it […]

A Party & a Book in Remembrance of Jaime

Sorry for the blog silence over here lately. As I mentioned last week, Charlie’s brother and his wife and kids were in town for 10 days, and then my parents also got to town last Thursday and just left this morning. It’s been a whirlwind, busy time with family, but SO so awesome. Needless to […]

The Monday Snapshot – Family Edition

This Saturday marks what would have been Jaime’s 29th birthday. Okay, I just freaked out and double checked my numbers because it seems crazy to think she would have been that old since she was 27 when she died. Weird. At any rate, Charlie’s brother and his wife and kids drove in from MN for […]

Devastated

Grief and healing is a funny thing. It’s been 14 months since Jaime died, and sometimes we can go days or even weeks without crying about her now. Charlie and I still share melancholy smiles and sighs from time to time when we hear her favorite song or Stella tells a story about her, but […]

This is 3: On Remembering Jaime

Last Friday night, which happened to be Good Friday, I was sitting alone with Stella on the couch in our living room. Charlie was helping our friends set up a new crib they had just been gifted, and Harvey was in bed when I decided to ask her some questions about her Auntie Jaime. She was […]

Mamblings

When I was in jr. high, my homeroom teacher called me “Mambles” because he said I mumbled & rambled all day long. The last time I wrote a mambling post was 4.5 years ago, so without further ado…here are a few of my mamblings today. I just booked a plane ticket to visit my sister […]

The Monday Snapshot – Flowers

Approaching the first anniversary of Jaime’s passing was really tough. Thankfully, we cried so much in those days leading up to it, that the actual day (Sunday) was a bit anti-climatic. Sunday was lovely. We went to church as a family (and probably 15 friends of the family joined us), walked to Jaime’s bench together, […]

Flashbacks

Last night was a rough night for me. This coming Sunday marks the one year anniversary of that awful day we lost Jaime, and emotions are running high in our family right now. This is what I wrote late last night as I sobbed in the dark, long after my husband and children were asleep in their […]

Back with a Vengeance

My husband has taken to the (very old man) habit of writing down the daily snowfall amounts on our kitchen calendar. In November and December it was definitely an interesting pursuit, but since he last wrote “2 inches” on January first, we had not had ANY appreciable snow (and maybe one dusting that didn’t stick […]

Family Togetherness

3 years ago, my parents, siblings, and their significant others all came to Colorado to see us over Christmas. Stella was just two weeks old, and it was so fantastic to have everyone here to meet her! At the time, Charlie’s parents and sister Jaime lived here near us, and his brother (along with his […]

A Tattoo is Forever

…and that’s exactly what he wanted. After Jaime died last spring, my father-in-law started talking about getting a portrait tattoo on his arm so he could have her with him wherever he went. Charlie and I were a little nervous about it, because after all, a tattoo is pretty permanent, and what if the tattoo artist […]

Rocketships to Heaven

The last few weeks have kicked my ass. I just finished my 3rd week of trying to do 80 hours of work in half the time (it’s impossible, by the way), and I’m floundering. My coworker (and good friend) had her baby 3 weeks ago, and during her 8 week maternity leave, I’m covering her […]

40+4

For 284 days, Harvey grew into a strong, healthy little boy inside my belly. For 284 days, Harvey has now been living & breathing & growing on the outside of my belly as the perfect addition to our little family. ***** I had intended to write a big post today reminiscing about our amazing home birth experience, but […]

Girls Night Out…without Jaime

Yesterday was my friend’s 35th birthday. She is single with no kids, so she is obviously in a very different life stage than me. She was meeting up with some other friends at the local brewery for a couple of beers at 8pm and invited me to join them, and I figured that was perfect! […]

6 Months in T-7 Days

Roughly 5 years ago I started blogging in this space, and Kylee was one of the very first bloggers I ever read (we were both TTC #1 at that point). Over the years the topics of her writing have evolved as her life has changed, but I have always enjoyed reading stories about her life as an […]

I Wish I Had…

Stella’s latest thing is to very sweetly and forlornly say, “I wish I had…” about EVERYTHING. Sometimes it’s cute and sometimes it drives me nuts… I wish I had a cat like Nana. I wish I had [EVERYTHING AT TARGET]. I wish I had a pool in my yard like Grandma. I wish I had […]

Forever Young – The 27 Club

Have you ever heard of the 27 Club? Jaime and I used to talk about how crazy it was that so many amazing musicians died at age 27. It just occurred to me today, on what would have been Jaime’s 28th birthday, that she ended up part of that damn club. From my FIL/MIL’s Facebook […]

The Monday Snapshot – Loose Ends Edition

I just wrote a check to pay off my dead SIL’s credit card balance. #ThingsThatSuck #ImNotTalkingAboutTheMoney

You Cannot Go Back – Tearful Thoughts on Godparents

Last night I hung up the phone after talking to my best friend here and sobbed my heart out. Let’s back up. After Jaime died, my cousin whose Mom died the day after Harvey was born recommended signing up for emails from GriefShare.org. It’s a daily email that comes into my inbox in the middle of […]