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Expectations & Reality

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It’s been a rough few days in our house because of some money drama going on. Basically, our new-to-us $12,000 truck that we still owe nearly $9k on suddenly needs $11,500 of repairs to get it to run again…money that we don’t have. Um, not cool. At any rate, Charlie and I have handled it pretty well, as we both know it’s neither of our faults that this happened. That doesn’t mean it hasn’t been tense in our household. Money stress is one of the shittiest stresses. *sigh*

So yeah, we are both walking on eggshells and trying to be kind to each other and stand together while we figure out our way through this, but last night that peace was disrupted when the reality of what next week will look like for Stella didn’t meet my expectations. Next Tuesday is Stella’s first day of pre-k, and Wednesday at 5am I leave for Las Vegas with some friends to go to our friends’ wedding that is on Wednesday night. When this trip was planned and booked, we thought that Stella would be 10 days into this new adventure – not two. Cue me being stressed out about all the changes, but feeling like at least her Dad would be there to help with the transition.

Well, last night Charlie says, “So when do you leave again?” Um, Wednesday morning, 5am remember? I told you this weeks ago. You’re responsible for the kids Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday morning until the Nanny gets here at 7:45, and you need to get Stella to school by 8am.

“Oh yeah, that isn’t going to work. I have [concrete] pours at 7am on Tuesday and Wednesday. I can’t move them. We need these jobs really badly right now.

#&^&@#*%^*(#&@)(#%*)#%*()

He’s right. I know he’s right. BUT.

This means that not only will he not be there with us for Stella’s first morning of going to school, he ALSO won’t be there to take her to school himself on her second morning, AND we are going to have to see if my mother-in-law can take the kids Tuesday night to get Stella to school and Harvey to the Nanny on Wednesday morning for Charlie. That means I won’t even get to hear about Stella’s first day of school first hand because I’ll still be at work when she gets them and brings them to her house. UGH.

I know this isn’t the worst thing in the world, but I really wanted to have a little family photo together for Stella’s first day of school. I was excited to hear all about her day when I walked in the door from work. I wanted to have the reassurance that her Dad was there to take her to her second day when I’m guessing more nerves will set in and I won’t be able to be there for her.

As excited as I am for this trip to Vegas, I just wish I could be home with my kids at the same time.

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