I had a post all planned for yesterday that was a total rant about having to always be the cruise director of the family to make sure the kids are taken care of – even though I work full time, just like my husband. Then at the work conference I was at, one of the speakers talked about the subconscious mind and how powerful it is, and she shared this quote:
Ding ding ding ding!
Like many of you I’m sure, we are in a tough spot in our marriage. We’re not in the new relationship rainbows and unicorns phase, and we aren’t in the financially secure, kids are out of the house and we can focus on each other phase. We are deep in the daily scramble of working to pay the bills and trying to raise up respectful, loving children who are 3 and 5 and really difficult some days phase.
With that being said, I am often frustrated with my husband these days, and sometimes I just need to vent about it. Yesterday the speaker was saying it’s fine and good and healthy to vent about things in life that are overwhelming you – but she also cautioned that venting becomes dangerous when it’s the only story you tell.
Yeah…we haven’t been to marriage counseling since last winter, but that sounds suspiciously like what she used to tell us about “creating your own narrative” and how it becomes difficult to actually see/hear your spouse’s true intentions when you already have a narrative running in your head of what you THINK s/he means.
So this is my attempt to focus on the positives. To share more positive stories about my husband instead of the rants. To start to work on rewriting the narrative in my head about the daily experiences in our lives. Experiences repeated often enough become habits, and habits become beliefs (whether or not they are true & correct), and I want to have happy thoughts and beliefs about my marriage, my kids, and my life.
That’s not too much to ask, right? 🙂