It’s not that I’ve exactly given up hope, but I realized today that I’ve given up the expectation that I’ll ever see two lines on the damn pee stick. I don’t know if this is hitting me because I’m officially labeled “Infertile” now that it’s been over a year or what… but it’s weird to have lost all faith that it will happen for me. I know, this sounds slightly dramatic, but I really don’t feel dramatic … I just feel… apathetic. Listless. I kind of don’t think we’ll ever try IVF or adoption (too cost prohibitive & emotionally draining)… and it makes me kind of sad to think that this may never happen for us. Living child free…funny how it’s not really free at all.
I don’t know… that’s just where my mind is at today. Sorry for the abundance of …. it’s just that I sort of feel like I’m floating today… lost in my thoughts and what was and is and might never be.