A few months ago, my marriage was in a really bad spot. Honestly? It was at rock bottom. I wrote about it a little bit here and here and here. We got some great relationship books to read (which we honestly haven’t gotten all the way through yet, but so far we like them so thank you for the recommendations), we worked on consciously being kinder to each other and doing nice things for each other, we muddled through the cold and snow and rainy months until the sun (quite literally) came out again, and right now, I’d say that things are pretty good. We are still bickering and picking at each other more than we should, but we are working on it, and we are trying really hard to treat each other with love and respect. It’s so easy to let things fall into those awful, deep ruts after 11 years when you’re busy parenting two little kids, but hopefully it’s worth it to keep climbing back out and onto the life adventure trail together again, right?
About a month after things were hitting rock bottom for us was when I went to Hawaii with my girlfriends. That recharge time was crucial for me and my happiness, but it wasn’t the only thing that happened which helped me to reassess my frustrations in my marriage. You see, the same week I was on vacation in Hawaii, one of the providers (and friends) at my work also took the week off to go camping with her husband in Utah. Long story short, midway through the week I got a call at 4am from one of my other co-workers who was sobbing and wanting to let me know that our provider’s husband had fallen off a cliff to his immediate death while on a quick hike before dinner, less than 100 yards from their campsite. Search & rescue didn’t find his body until the next morning, and my friend’s life has been changed forever. She has spent the last month tying up the odds and ends and details that encompass the end of a person’s life, just like we did when Charlie’s sister died two years ago. It breaks my heart to watch her go through this and to have lost this man whom she loved with her whole heart. Losing people we love is never “fair” or “right” or “easy,” is it?
Perspective folks. It will get you every time.